


Unwanted Memories

by LinuxScouser



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-11
Updated: 2006-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinuxScouser/pseuds/LinuxScouser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gourry starts to remember what happened when he was kidnapped by Hellmaster Phibrizzo. The consequences of gaining these memories could affect both Gourry and Lina in ways they never thought possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.
> 
> Also there are scenes involving self harm and implied bloody violence which is why it has an M rating to be on the safe side.

The short brunette fiery sorceress from Zephilia looked back at the blonde swordsman from Elmekia with wide eyes that slowly started to shimmer with tears. Her gloved hands were gripped tightly on the swordsman's hands which were grasped around the sorceress's small neck. She was looking into his eyes and the familiar warmth was replaced with a vacant cold glare. Lina Inverse was being choked to death by her guardian, Gourry Gabriev.

She had never known Gourry to look at anyone with those eyes. Not even in the heat of battle did Gourry give those eyes to anyone. Although in those few moments as she felt her life ebbing away, she realised there was one time Gourry looked like that. That one time was when he was under the control of Hellmaster Phibrizzo.

Her hand suddenly move down to the side as if she was about to summon some sort of spell, only the words wouldn't come out. The fingers gripped tightly around her neck were stifling the oxygen coming in and fighting off the words she wanted to come out. The best she could muster was a slight grunt and her hand dropped to her side in frustration. Her lungs were now burning from being starved of oxygen and her vision was slowly fading, the blackness slowly eating away at the surroundings, Gourry's face and those horrific eyes

Then the pressure was gone. It was as simple as that. She realised she wasn't supporting her own weight as her legs gave way beneath her and she landed on her knees, slumping back into the wall. She coughed and choked as the oxygen quickly replaced the used air in her lungs. Her vision returned and she noticed Gourry in front of her, also on the ground. His eyes were missing that vacant look from before, and were replaced with panic. He was looking down at his own hands as though they were red with blood.

"W…w…what have I done?" Gourry stuttered as he continued to stare at his hands in shock. "I've…I've killed her!"

Lina looked back at the swordsman and was wondering what on earth he was blabbering about. She knew he could get confused at times, but never like this. Yes, he tried to kill her, but the important word was tried. However Gourry was saying he actually did kill her.

"Gourry? I'm right here." Her voice was hoarse and raspy. She also a little nervously; after all she had just been choked by him and she wasn't sure that getting his attention would set him off again.

"I'm supposed to be her guardian and I've killed her!" The tall blonde man continued as though Lina hadn't uttered a word.

"Ok, you're really creeping me out now. I'm not dead. I'm here in front of you! Look at me!" The sorceress insisted as she moved forward onto her hands and knees, moving closer to Gourry and reaching a hand out towards him.

"Why wasn't I strong enough? I should have been able to fight back against him, but instead I gave in. Why was I kidding myself into thinking I could be her guardian? It was obvious she could handle herself and if anything, I was just going to get in her way. In the end I did worse!"

Gourry started to sob into his hands. It was something Lina had never expected to see although she had heard from Zel and Amelia that he had done something similar when he thought she died. However, this was more than that as she watching his shoulders shake.

"Dammit Gourry! I'm still here! Why won't you listen to me?" Her voice not so ragged as before.

Lina was still in shock from what happened but now she just felt confused. She couldn't work out what had happened to Gourry. They were just trying to have a quiet time in their room at an inn, when Gourry suddenly lunged towards Lina. His fingers clasped tightly around her neck and pinned her against the wall. It was as though something in his mind just snapped and it was making him think that certain things had occurred when obviously they hadn't.

Lina crawled slowly over to Gourry and placed her hands on his shoulders and started to shake him. She thought maybe with enough of a jolt, she could help him out of it. But it didn't seem to do anything at all as the swordsman just continued to sob into his hands.

Gourry abruptly got to his feet, surprising Lina who stayed on her knees and looked up at him.

"If I killed Lina, then it's only fair that I take my own life as punishment…"

He then took a hold of his sword and swiftly positioned it so he would drive the blade through his chest.

"NOOOO!!!" Lina screamed as she fought against the tiredness she felt and got to her feet. She then shoved the sword from his hands and embraced Gourry tightly before he could do anything to harm himself.

"L…Lina?"

She blinked up at him in surprise as it seemed he was registering her existence unexpectedly.

"What happened?" He added.

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Three weeks earlier, the sorceress and swordsman had not been back on their home continent for long after their battle with Darkstar. Lina and Gourry separated from the others, who all had their own things to deal with.

Zel after all his time searching was still no closer to his cure, but he was determined as ever. Amelia had to finally settle down into her duties as a royal after being able to live the life as an adventurer although only for a short while. Filia was now caretaker of the newly reborn Valgaav, but was also working on her new antique store after giving up her role as priestess under Flarelord Valbazard.

In fact, it was the recently reborn Valgaav that was the current subject of discussion between Lina and Gourry. At the same time, they were enjoying the delights of the latest restaurant to under go the torturous duty of filling their bottomless stomachs.

"So it's going to be just a few months before Valgaav breaks out then?" Gourry mumbled through a mouth filled with a scrumptious steak.

"What!?" Lina shrieked in response. "He's an Ancient Dragon! They must take like hundreds of years before they're properly born."

"Then won't he die before he breaks out? A hundred years is a pretty long time Lina."

"I know that, stupid! You don't seem to realise that a hundred years for a dragon is nothing. They live for thousands of years."

"I guess that means we won't get to see him born then."

"No. We probably won't. Not unless we find a way to live for a really long time!" Lina grinned as she stole a couple of bread rolls from Gourry's side of the table.

"Hey! Stop it!" Gourry growled in reply and his reaction was to slam his fork into the steak on Lina's plate and promptly stuff it into his mouth.

"Right! That does it!"

Lina leapt from the chair and over the table and landed into Gourry, forcing his chair to fall back and so he hit the ground. The landing seemed to have the swordsman pretty dazed which was what Lina was hoping for. She giggled to herself and took advantage of his dazed state to steal food from his plate.

"Now that's not fair…You've never done that before." Gourry sighed in defeat as he picked himself up and sat back down on the chair.

"Well you never stole a WHOLE steak from my plate."

After enjoying their meal and avoiding most of the stares which were sent their way due to the commotion they caused, they headed up to their separate rooms. Lina went to hers and decided to take a nice long relaxing bath whilst Gourry used his time to maintain his sword before he would get a wash.

As he rubbed the pumice stone against the blade to remove all the nicks and scratches, he thought about all the things he had been through. He realised he had come a long way since the low point he had after fighting in the war. Things at the time seemed so bad, that he wondered if there was much point to his life anymore. The horrors of the war had affected him pretty badly and his desire for sword fighting had disappeared.

He returned home in the hope of regaining some sort of normality but his home seemed to be just as bad as the battlefield he had just finished fighting on. Arguments and backstabbing seemed to be the order of the day then, and it was all over that stupid heirloom. The Sword of Light had been in his family for several generations, but now it was tearing his family apart.

Having enough of the fighting, he decided that maybe if he got rid of the cause of the arguments, then they would stop. So one night he took the Sword of Light from the mantelpiece and left without warning. He kept contact of what was going on, hoping to hear that the fighting had died down. Instead he found that the fighting had only intensified and it only sent him spiralling further into depression.

He had decided that it was all too much and his plan was to get rid of the Sword of Light by throwing it into the sea. If someone really wanted it badly enough, then they would do all they could to get it, and they would deserve it by taking it from the watery grave. Then after getting rid of the sword, well, he hadn't thought that far yet. The swordsman never got to think about it as the first part of his plan failed when a strange fisherman made him realise he could do something with his life by holding onto the sword. Not long after that, he met Lina and the rest as they say was history.

The things he did in those intervening years made him realise how happy he was to take that man's advice. After everything that happened, he knew that he wouldn't change a thing because if he could, then maybe things wouldn't turn out as good as they had done.

What if things had turned out differently? How would things be different to the way they were now? He remembered the time he spent with Grize on the battlefield and saw what happened to him after the war was over. If things played out a little differently he could have ended up like his old fighting buddy. Washing down his sorrows in alcohol and losing his life in some senseless battle.

As Gourry rubbed some oil onto the blade to strengthen it, the light from a candle reflected off the blade and into his eyes. The swordsman felt a little annoyed at himself for wallowing in his past. He knew there was nothing he could do about it now, so what was the point in thinking about it and worrying about it. He didn't concern himself with things that happened in the past as what was happening right now was all that matter. He was nothing like the man he was after the war, and he wasn't going to try and turn into him now.

A knock at the door shook Gourry from his thoughts, and it was only then he realised that he was squeezing on the blade of his sword tightly. He winced as he pulled his hand away and looked at the wounds on his palm and fingers. Dark red blood trickled down the flat side of the blade just as a knock at the door occurred once more.

"Hey Gourry? Are you awake?" Lina asked from behind the door.

"Dammit…" Gourry cursed quietly to himself.

Quickly he grabbed onto the rag he used the rub the oil into the blade and wrapped it quickly around his hand to cut off the bleeding. He then held it behind his back and swiftly answered the door before Lina got too impatient.

"What were you up to?" Lina spoke with a raised eyebrow, looking rather inquisitive.

Her hair was damp as she was wrapped in several towels to cover her modesty. It appeared as though she had just left her bath.

"Oh, nothing. Just cleaning my sword." He replied a little awkwardly.

"So that's why I can smell that oil. Hey! What's up with your hand?"

Gourry rolled his eyes and realised that trying to hide his hand behind his back was just a little too obvious. He brought his hand forward slowly as though he was a child being scolded by his mother for hiding sweets and was forced to own up.

"Yikes Gourry! What were you cleaning the blade with? Your hand!?"

"I guess I got a little carried away and I just caught my hand on the blade."

"Sit down…I'll heal it."

Lina dragged him over to the bed and sat down. She removed the rag from his hand and grimaced at the sight of the wounds. She glanced up at him with a look as though she didn't believe him but decided she would just heal it anyway. Lina then placed his hand on her lap and after a few moments she began healing him.

Gourry glanced to Lina and watched her concentrating on the spell. He blushed a little with the way she was treating him. Then he took in the situation. Lina was wrapped in towels with damp hair, and hand his hand on her lap. He turned his head away quickly and tried to calm himself down a little as impure thoughts started to run through his mind.

Once Lina was finished with the healing spell, she looked down to inspect her work and was happy to see that his hand was completely recovered. Now she wanted to know the real reason his hand was cut like that. Only when she looked up towards the swordsman, she noticed the rosy tint to his cheeks. She gave him a curious look, wondering what it was he was embarrassed about until only moments later she realised her state, and couldn't help a blush herself. Suddenly all thoughts of getting to the bottom of Gourry's hand injury had fluttered away.

"I ran out of shampoo and was hoping I could borrow some of yours." Lina spoke quietly as she quickly distanced herself from Gourry.

"Umm…sure. Go help yourself." He replied, not making eye contact with the sorceress.

"Thanks…"

Lina quickly made her way into the bathroom and took the shampoo and quickly made her way to the door, only for the hand injury to come back to her mind. Something like that wasn't going to be so easy for her to push out of her head. She stopped by the doorway and turned back to Gourry who still looked a little flushed.

"If something was wrong, then you would tell me. Right?" Lina questioned.

"I would Lina. I'm fine. It was just an accident. You know how my mind can wander." He grinned and rubbed the back of his head.

"Sure I do!" She smiled and headed off back to her room. "Good night!"

Only something didn't seem right to the brunette. Yes, Gourry was partial to thinking about other things when the current subject of conversation was considered boring to him. What didn't sit right with Lina was that Gourry said he was cleaning his sword at the time. Dealing with swords was probably the one thing that Gourry didn't find boring and for his mind to drift off whilst doing that just seemed plain wrong to her.

She shook her head a little as she removed her towels and sunk back into the luke warm bath. She grumbled at that fact. If only she hadn't run out of shampoo to wash her hair, she would be enjoying a nice hot bath. Although it was nothing a well prepared fireball couldn't handle and she sighed in satisfaction as the heat from the dissipating fireball she just conjured warmed up the bath.

Maybe she was just overanalysing the situation and Gourry was just a little clumsy. Even she was prone to her own bouts of clumsiness on occasion so if it could happen to her, then surely it would happen to anyone else. So he probably was speaking the truth. Only her instinct was screaming something else in her mind and that she should follow it up. Her body just wanted to enjoy the nice hot bath. In the end it was no contest and her body won as she sunk lower into the delightfully hot water.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lina and Gourry spent the next few days travelling through the old continent on the trail of a new magical sword. Since Gourry relinquished the Sword of Light and thus the name of Swordsman of Light, he was without a decent sword to match his skill. At least that's what Lina said and Gourry seemed to just be happy enough to travel with Lina. He didn't take in the fact that Lina would be co-owner of such a new sword, since that was the terms Lina made when she decided on using her precious time to look for one. She was going to get a piece of the pie this time, nothing like what happened with the Sword of Light!

Lina couldn't help but think about what happened to Gourry's hand that night and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't settle on the fact that maybe it was just an accident. Sure he was a real jellyfish at times, but to say he cut his hand like that was really insulting towards him. However, bringing up the subject to him wouldn't be the easiest thing to do.

Gourry on the other hand had pretty much forgotten what had happen since no harm was really done. He didn't really take in what happened to him and the way he was feeling as he cleaned the blade. Instead he was enjoying just travelling with Lina, and hoping that maybe this lead they were following would result in finding a sword which could rival the Sword of Light.

As the swordsman and sorceress walked side by side, something had just jumped in their minds at the same time. The surroundings were somehow familiar, and the feeling of déjà vu was strong, however the reasons for those feelings were particularly different. Lina cursed slightly under her breath as she came across the realisation that they weren't too far from Sairaag.

She thought how foolish she was to not pay attention to something like that, but she thought maybe if she just ignored it, then maybe it would be ok. Only she hadn't planned on walking through this particular area.

To anyone else, it would be what the typical countryside looked like. A brown dirt path with an expanse of grass surrounded them, whilst a few trees were spread out sparsely along the edge of the area. To Lina this was the site of a battle that took place between herself and Gourry when he was controlled by Phibrizzo. She stood frozen in one spot as the images of the battle ran rapidly through her mind and hadn't even notice Gourry collapse to his knees.

Gourry didn't remember his time under Phibrizzo's spell and his reasons for remembering this place, although similar to Lina's, was through different circumstances. The whole area had been host to a much larger battleground, but the particular spot where he was now on his knees was pretty specific.

The swordsman was now going through certain memories he had spent a long amount of time trying to bury away deeply in his mind. Now they were flooding back and he seemed to have no control over them. The main colour in all those memories was the bright, vivid red of freshly spilt blood. It was on the ground, it was on his sword, his clothes, in his hair and on his face. It was also on the fallen bodies of his fallen comrades who had been slain mercilessly, gutted or decapitated

Gourry collapsed to his knees in those memories like he was in the present and started to vomit violently. He had been to busy fighting off the hordes of enemies. He didn't know who they were, and he didn't know what the reasons were for this war. All he knew was that he was being paid to fight, and at the moment in time, he was fighting to survive.

When the fighting was over, Gourry had time to take in the devastation and the reality that war gave. For a long time the lessons he learnt from that time had affected him badly. Grize was right when he said that he had become useless. He no longer wanted to fight with a sword, and in some ways he didn't really want to live anymore as he thought those memories would torture him for the rest of his life.

"GOURRY! GOURRY!" Lina screamed with horror in her voice.

She ran to the side of her guardian as he was down on the ground, having some sort of fit or spasms. A pool of vomit lay beside him. It was only the lurching of Gourry throwing up which shook her from her own thoughts of what happened in this area.

Somehow, Lina's voiced seemed to be a lifeline which dragged him away from the memories he had fought off for so long. He opened the eyes he didn't realise were closed and saw the look of fear in Lina's face.

"What happened to you?" Lina asked, her voice a little shaken due to what she had just seen.

"I think there is something I should talk to you about." Gourry replied weakly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Gourry had recovered enough, the pair had made their way to an inn that was close by. They paid for one room and headed there straight away to settle down and clean up before Gourry decided to open up a little of his past to Lina. He recounted to her the days he spent as a mercenary, and lead up to the war he fought in. He explained the after effects of that event and revealed that the area they were just in was where that war took place.

Lina remained strong when Gourry detailed his past but inside she wanted to just cry and hug the swordsman. She couldn't really believe they had spent so long together and had never found out about what happened to him. She realised he had spent the whole time keeping that part of his history not only secret from her, but in a way himself. So it was hard for her to tell him that there something else significant about that place. As far as she knew, he still didn't know what happened to him and she was going to make sure it stayed that way until she believed he could take it.

Gourry was sat on the side of the bed with dark rings around his eyes as the retelling seemed to have truly worn him out.

"You should get some rest." Lina said as she stood up from the chair she was sat on and walked over to the swordsman.

"It's still early. I'm not really that tired either."

"Well I don't care. It's an order from me."

"Are you my superior or something?" Gourry smiled slightly, wanting to lighten the mood somewhat.

"Well I'm smarter than you so that's one thing I'm superior to you in. So I know you're tired and you need to get some sleep." Lina crossed her arms as she stood in front of him.

"Fine…fine. Ok then…since you insist."

"I do…"

Gourry rubbed the back of his head and when he realised Lina wasn't going to play around in the end, he leaned back into the bed and rolled onto his side.

"I'm not going to insist you tell me anything about your past just because I did…" Gourry said with a yawn to follow it up.

"Thanks" Lina replied as she lay down on the bed beside Gourry.

Gourry was surprised to feel the sorceress join him and although she wasn't right up against him, her hand was running through his long blonde hair. He appreciated the gesture and it did help him calm down and realise he was more tired than he initially thought. After a few moments of that, he dropped off into a much needed sleep.

Lina sighed as she slowly sat up from the bed, careful not to wake Gourry. She looked down at the swordsman and her heart pounded a little quicker. Despite the recent revelations she couldn't help but feel for him as she watched him sleep. She found herself getting like that often when she looked at him in that state.

She stood up from the bed and moved around to the opposite side of the bed and knelt down beside the sleeping blonde. She ran her fingers through his bangs, parting them slightly to show off a little more of her face and couldn't help but place a gentle kiss on his forehead. It was easy to be affectionate when no one was around and he wasn't aware. Then her stomach grumbled and she blushed. Her hands landed over her stomach quickly in an attempt to block out the noise.

Fortunately it seemed Gourry wasn't disturbed. So Lina decided it was time to take her leave and do something about it before her stomach decided to growl any louder which would wake him from his sleep. She left the room quietly, taking one last glance at the slumbering swordsman before leaving.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Gourry was aware of the situation he knew something was definitely wrong. For starters the Sword of Light was in his hands when he knew it should have been taken away. Also his vision seemed to be impeded by some sort of mask. The thing that struck him the most was the intense amount of power he felt running through his body. It was exhilarating and exciting. He was battling several people it seemed but he couldn't really make out who they were.

It didn't seem to matter as the feeling he had when he was fighting felt great. Whoever he was fighting didn't seem to be making much of a challenge because what he was doing seemed to be so easy. Fighting several opponents had never been this simple. He noticed the Sword of Light reacting in a way he had never noticed before. It seemed so much more powerful and stronger than ever. The sword was reacting much like it did when it was amplified by a magic spell much like in the fight against Rezo. Only this time he knew there was no magical amplification. This time it was all his doing. Was this how strong the Sword of Light could truly be?

The fight continued on and Gourry felt like he had barely broken a sweat. He also noticed that the group he was fighting were all magic users. Again he had never fought so easily against one sorcerer, never mind a group of them. He was even using the magic spells they sent at him back against them. Even the Dragon Slave was no match for him and it felt enjoyable.

Clearly having the upper hand in the battle, one of his foes was down on the ground and out for the count. He stepped close to the person and looked down only to see that it was Lina. Worse still he found he was about to strike her down with a finishing blow. Suddenly he realised that he didn't really have control of his body anymore. He started to wonder if he actually had much control of his body to begin with. But now that he knew that he didn't have control and he was about to unwillingly finish Lina off, he had to try and fight back against whatever it was that was controlling him.

He fought with all that he had and at one point he thought he succeeded as he seemed to back away from Lina. The look in Lina's eyes sent shivers through his spine, more so because it was him that was putting the fear in those eyes.

He thought that he had won over whatever was controlling him, but within a few moments it washed back over. Some sort of cold darkness which threatened to swallow his entire being consumed him and suddenly he found himself attacking Lina.

"NO! LINA!" He screamed to stop but it was only in his mind.

Then something changed and Lina was gone. However it was not just Lina who was gone but everything. The power and whatever was controlling him was gone. Wherever he was before, it was no longer there and it just seemed to be darkness. He was now aware that it wasn't long since he was taken away by that kid Phibrizzo, or at least that's what he thought he was. Now he was pretty sure he wasn't some normal kid.

"I took you because you seem to be someone dearly precious to Lina Inverse. You shall be the bait who will bring me the destruction that I desire." A familiar but disembodied voice echoed in the oblivion.

"What makes you think I'll willingly be bait to you!?" Gourry replied defiantly, quickly gripping onto the Sword of Light, knowing it was something that he would need against such a strange foe.

"Is that the Sword of Light!?" The voice spoke in surprise. "If you possess that sword, then surely you must have great ability."

Gourry was unsure how to reply. He didn't even know where he was. All he knew was he wanted to find a way out fast and get back to Lina before anything bad happened.

"Maybe there is more use from you than I initially thought…Yes…You can make this a lot more interesting." The eerie voice continued.

Gourry then sensed an impending dark energy. Obviously in the darkness it was impossible to see, but the senses he honed in his training were acutely aware of something wrong.

Then it wrapped around his body like a serpent wraps tightly around its prey to kill it off. Gourry gasped in shock and pain, as this dark mass seemed to be deathly cold and excruciatingly hot to his body. It was all too much and he screamed as the agony took a hold of his body. He strained and fought against the darkness but it seemed to easily keep hold. It seemed to freeze and burn his skin at the same time and then he felt it seeping into his skin.

He roared and howled as he felt the darkness force its way into his skin, then the muscle and right into his blood. He felt it inside him as it took control of his body and fought against his mind till he lost consciousness.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gourry shot up from the bed and quickly looked around his surroundings, finding himself in a sudden panic. His brow was soaked in cold sweat with his breathing as rapid as his pulse. The images and memories from the dream remained fresh and strong in his mind, only they felt more like memories from his life rather than something from a dream.

Lina was missing but he found himself not so worried about that. Instead he found himself fearing the darkness was still inside him after what that creepy kid put him through. Those things that happened weren't dreams. He realised that they were actual events, and that meant he had fought against Lina and almost succeeded in trying to kill her.

He looked down at his arm and was sure that whatever was put into him was still in there. He began scratching at his arm as though it would force its way out but it wouldn't satisfy his need for the darkness to leave. He looked around the room once more a little more carefully and noticed his sword. He moved himself slowly off the bed and moved to the table where the sword was laid against.

He took the sword and unsheathed it, looking at the blade. He looked back at his arm and was satisfied that it would do the job. He knew the best way to get that darkness out was to drain it away. He had to do it so he could protect Lina from himself since he knew if he nearly killed Lina before, then he was capable of doing it again as long as that stuff was inside him.

He pressed the sharp edge of the blade against the skin of his upper arm and felt it cut in. It was like there was some sort of built up pressure and he just released it. He looked down at the blood dripping slowly out of the wound, feeling great relief that he wouldn't be causing any harm to Lina.

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A couple of weeks later, Lina and Gourry were in another inn as they quickly moved away from the Sairaag area hoping that the bad events they remembered would disappear. They were back in their room after enjoying a good meal with the usual fighting and bickering over stolen food. Gourry grinned as he slumped down in a chair and put both his hands behind his back.

Gourry had succeeded in stealing a decent amount of food from Lina's plate when she was busy arguing with another customer who spilt a drink on her. The guy seemed pretty drunk and was very apologetic but it wasn't enough for Lina. It wasn't Gourry's problem, and in their somewhat unwritten rule, if you didn't pay attention to your food, then it meant you weren't interested and so it was up for grabs. The swordsman did exactly that and Lina found out much too late to be able to retaliate

The sorceress glared at Gourry after she closed the door behind her. She was going to make sure that Gourry would regret taking so much of her food. So she sat down at the dresser and brushed the tangles out of her hair as she worked on her plan. Meanwhile Gourry headed off into the bathroom with his sword still at his side.

Lina looked to the closed bathroom door with a confused look etched on her face. She had to admit that Gourry was acting pretty strange after she found out about what he went through in his past. He seemed to be very secretive and spent more time alone than he used to. It was weird to Lina since she was used to him being around her all the time but now it was different.

She stood up from the dresser and slowly walked over to the bathroom door. Things recently had been weird with Gourry. The cut on his hand, his past and the way he was acting. She decided that now she was going to get to the bottom of it.

She forced the door opened and her eyes widened at what she saw. Gourry had his arm over the wash basin as blood dripped down. She noticed that beside the wound were several scars as though he had been cutting himself before. Gourry turned suddenly, realising the door had opened and Lina was standing there with a shocked look on her face.

"Lina…I…"

Lina simply turned away and sat back down by the dresser. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't even know what she was feeling. Anger? Fear? Sickness?

Meanwhile Gourry followed her out the bathroom with a towel covering his arm. He wanted to explain what he was doing but the words wouldn't come to his mouth. It was mainly Lina's reaction that had confused him. Why wasn't she reacting to him? She should have been shouting or something.

He sat down on a chair and looked down at the ground. He kept trying to find the right words so that maybe they would come out, but no matter what he thought, nothing came through. He looked over to Lina who just sat there with a blank expression. The silence was excruciating to him and wished there was something he could do to make it stop. Only instead he blanked out.

When he was aware again, Lina was holding him tightly and he could feel the remnants of tears in his eyes and on his cheeks.

"L…Lina?"

She blinked up at him in surprise.

"What happened?" He added.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.
> 
> A/N: I just wanted to mention quickly before people thought I wrote Gourry OOC. I've been trying to research a little on people who suffer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is what Gourry is suffering. Some of the symptoms are irritability and outbursts of anger. People who suffer from PTSD can also re-experience the trauma.
> 
> This chapter contains a little lemon and implied scenes.
> 
> Enjoy the story!

Lina was still holding onto Gourry tightly when he asked her what just happened. The swordsman was able to just run himself through and she admitted she was more worried about that happening again than being attacked. She looked down at his chest as she tried to find the words and calm herself down. Her throat still felt sore from being choked and then suddenly screaming.

"You seemed to not be yourself…and you attacked me." Lina spoke softly and kept it short. She didn't really want to get into the details. "Then for some reason you thought you killed me…and you tried to…harm yourself."

The sorceress then bit her lip, not sure how Gourry was going to react to that information. The response she got was probably the last thing she expected.

"I've tried to do this before now. Haven't I?" Gourry asked lowly.

"Huh? How…how do you know?" Lina spluttered in reply.

"I dreamt about it a couple of weeks ago. That night when I spoke to you about what I had done in my past. That's when the cutting began."

Lina winced slightly as she was reminded of what Gourry had been doing to himself in secret. She'd never known the swordsman to keep anything secret from her, and to find out now had rocked her a little. Were there other things he'd been keeping secret? His past was one thing. What about his family? How did he get the sword? Although it wasn't like she was so outspoken about her past either.

"When Phibrizzo took you away, we ended up fighting against a mysterious swordsman who had your Sword of Light. We didn't realise who it was till right at the last moment. You were that swordsman, Gourry. That place where you collapsed was the place where we fought against each other."

Lina pulled away slightly, instantly feeling like she needed a little room after remembering that particularly hurtful time. Meanwhile Gourry just stood there as he took in the information that maybe he knew all along. The dreams that he had, were in fact, actual memories.

"Why?" Gourry asked with frustration in his voice, slumping down into a chair.

"What is it?" Lina responded, looking over at Gourry.

"Why am I suddenly remembering all of this stuff now? I've fought hard to not think about all this stuff and all of a sudden, all these things are hitting me from nowhere. I never asked to remember what happened back when I was a mercenary. I didn't even know what happened to me when that kid took me away."

Lina moved towards the swordsman, and could see how vulnerable he looked. She had never seen him look this scared, as she felt she could always rely on him to be the rock she could lean on when things got rough.

"I don't know Gourry. I don't know why these things are happening to you. But the one thing I do know is that I'm going to try everything I can to help you."

Lina then leaned down and wrapped her arms around him once more. This hug was much more affectionate and caring than the previous one which was full of desperation.

Gourry returned the hug and finally felt like he could finally relax a little in her embrace. He sighed slightly as he felt the worries and fears disappear and just wanted to melt in her arms. Lina noticed that he was relaxing and so she was able to do the same herself, feeling that the danger was over.

Now that both the sorceress and swordsman felt the negative feelings pass by, another forgotten memory began to surface. Both yearned and desired the same thing as a feeling of relief in being together flooded their beings. Pulling away just slightly from each other, they stared into each others eyes before giving in. Their lips joined together in the soft gentle kiss. Minutes earlier, one was about to kill the other. Now they were demonstrating their suppressed love for each other.

Lina quickly moved down onto Gourry's lap as their kiss intensified. Gourry's hands moved slowly up the sorceress's back, pulling her closer to him. She quickly moved her lips from his and began planting light kisses on his neck. This freed up Gourry's mouth to describe the sensations she was giving, by letting out soft satisfied moans.

Lina smiled inwardly, enjoying the fact that she was having a hold on him and decided to try and take a greater hold. She continued to kiss his neck but she then pressed her hips a little against his and she was rewarded with an audible groan. The other reaction she enjoyed personally was Gourry's body saying he was enjoying the sensations.

Growing frustrated with being on the receiving end, Gourry wrapped his arms around Lina's waist and lifted her up as he stood up. Her reaction was to quickly wrap her legs around his body as she refused to stop her 'attack'. He carried her over to the bed and gently lay her down beneath him. This time it was his turn as his hips pressed back against hers. His growing arousal in his trousers rubbed between her legs, the friction between them sending jolts of pleasure through the both of them.

Lina threw her head back and reached up to Gourry's body, clinging on tightly as she was put on the back foot. Now she was getting the attention and there wasn't much she could do to turn the tide. She felt the swordsman's hands moving up her body and began to massage her breasts. She thought it was funny how quickly he found them considering he often stated the small size. She didn't have long to linger on that thought as his actions was blissful to her. She was quickly losing the battle in those few moments and she knew that because now she had the desire to feel skin on skin.

As though Gourry had suddenly become a mind reader, he began fumbling with her top. He did all he could to undo it but he wasn't faring well. Lina looked up at him and a little grin grew on her face. She figured Gourry was getting so excited that he wasn't really able to work with anything anymore. She moved her hands up to remove the yellow band from around her, and then slowly undid her top. Looking up to Gourry seductively, she wiggled her way out of the top.

The moment her breasts were free, Gourry attacked with his lips. They pressed tightly over her sensitive bud and began licking slowly. Lina groaned in satisfaction, wrapping her hands around his head and forcing him closer. Then quickly she remembered what she wanted to do and her hands began fumbling with his top, pulling it up over his body till it reached his head.

His current position made it difficult for her to remove his shirt and with a reluctant shove; she managed to move him away. She swiftly removed the shirt, sending his hair flying in the air and over his shoulder, shimmering against his golden skin. Taking advantage of the situation she plunged towards his chest, and returned the favour of licking his nipple.

"Oh Ceipheid! Lina!" Gourry moaned as the sorceress played mercilessly with him.

Gourry wanted more, and he wanted it all right now. He moved slowly onto his side as Lina continued her assault on him, finding it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. His hands moved down to her waist, and tugged red leggings down, revealing her white panties. Having pulled away and helping Gourry to remove the leggings, Lina blushed towards him as she had a sudden sense of self awareness at what was going on.

Removing the leggings, Gourry looked back to Lina and noticed her expression. He smiled softly and laid down back beside her, giving her slow soft kisses on her lips once more.

"We'll both take it slow as we can, ok?" He told her, trying to give her some reassurance.

Lina nodded, and showed how willing she was as she started to pull down his pants. She watched intently as she did so and noticed his aroused manhood protruding from his underwear. Her adventurous side took over as she clasped a hand gently around his hard length and revelled in the soft groans the swordsman was releasing. Figuring that friction was a good thing, she began to move her hand over the length and the louder moans told her she was doing the right thing.

Gourry didn't want to let Lina have control of him so easily so following her train of thought and friction between her legs would have her reeling in ecstasy. So placing his hand on her stomach, he slid it down slowly underneath her underwear. He continued to move it down till he felt what he thought was the right spot and began rubbing.

"Higher…" Lina gasped breathlessly.

"Here?" He responded. Doing his best to keep his concentration as Lina hadn't let up from.

"No…" Lina grunted in slight frustration. "Higher. It's like a pearl…"

"Here?" Gourry repeated after making the slight adjustment.

"Yes!" Lina moaned loudly as he hit the exact right spot.

Gourry clamped his mouth over Lina's and kissed her passionately, stifling her moan as the two did their best to pleasure the other. The air filled with the aroma of their arousals which seemed to only turn each other on more than before. The room was silent with the exception of their heavy breathing, soft moans and sounds of their mutual pleasuring.

Lina lost the battle to hold out the longest as the magic of Gourry's fingers was too much for her. She felt every muscle in her body tighten and manage to grunt Gourry's name out. Random lights seem to flash in her eyes as her nerve endings fired off, leaving her extremities tingling.

The whole time, Gourry had been teetering on the edge. Watching Lina being sent over the edge seemed to do the same to him. He held onto Lina for dear life as she gripped him tightly through her orgasm and caused him to go through his own.

When it was over for the both of them, they relaxed into the bed and into each other arms. They were breathing deeply, trying to catch the much needed oxygen they were deprived of through their moments of bliss.

"So much for our first time together, huh?" Lina sighed, snuggling backwards into the embrace of the swordsman.

"We've got time. There's no rush." He replied, kissing her bare shoulder gently.

"We have time tonight or the rest of our lives?" She questioned with a grin.

"Give me five minutes." Gourry smirked.

Taking Gourry's hands, she made him place them over her breasts, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Well I can wait." She grinned a little wider.

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The pair headed out in the morning, deciding everything was ok and pretty much back to normal. After all, everything seemed to be in the open, and they had a few promiscuous moments the previous night. They walked side by side as Lina was reading an old manuscript which was suggesting the location of an interesting sword that she could get. Well, get the sword for Gourry, although she was still very certain to bring up the point of co-ownership of the sword.

Gourry instantly grabbed Lina's arm causing her to jolt slightly and complain about the harsh treatment. However, one glance towards him to give him a telling off revealed his serious face. She knew that meant some sort of danger was nearby.

Soon enough a large gang of bandits revealed themselves from the green shrubbery of their surroundings. Gourry cursed slightly under his breath, realising that such a setting was prime for an ambush. It didn't matter now though and he swiftly unsheathed his sword, readying himself for combat.

Lina followed suit and put the manuscript away, and then pulled her gloves on more firmly. She stepped forward a few paces and made a slight smirk towards who appeared to be the obvious leader.

"So do you guys want to make a run for it now, and save our energy? Or do you want us to hand your flame-grilled asses on a platter." Lina placed her hands on her hips, staring down the bandit leader who seemed to be well built with the exception of a portly beer belly.

"What the…!? What makes you so cocky you little flat chested brat? I'll make you regret tho…"

"Fireball!" Lina yelled and hurled the flaming orb of destruction in his direction, blowing him and a few nearby comrades away. "I think you'll be the one regretting your words!" She added, dusting her hands off and then quickly glanced around waiting to see where the next attack was going to come from.

Gourry decided to use Lina's fireball as a good distraction. So the moment the fireball blew up, causing the rest of the bandits to reel back in horror, he took the advantage and made quick non-lethal work of a few of them. Then when his moment of distraction was gone, he readied himself for the sudden onslaught.

Several men moved in on the blond swordsman, but he could tell there was fear under their skin after seeing the two travellers making quick work of almost half their group. Gourry pushed off his left food hard, pushing his body quickly to the right with sudden acceleration. He swung his sword violently, and caught his mark squarely. His blade clashed with one of the bandit's sword sending him flying back off balance. He then used the slight backlash of momentum to dart the other way and catch the other man by surprise. His elbow flew up hard and cracked his nose, sending blood gushing from his nostrils and causing him to choke.

Noticing the growing sense of blood lust behind him, he moved his blade behind him without looking in a defensive manner and parried the sword attack which came from behind. A sudden strike backwards with his foot caught the knee of his foe, twisting it painfully and sending him sprawling to the ground. Noticing a few moments of free time before he had to prepare for the next small battle, he glanced to Lina to make sure she was handling herself ok.

"Diem Wing!" Lina roared with her hands held before her.

The spell she cast created a massive gush of wind which propelled a good few number of the bandits backwards. Some of them few several tens of feet away from her, and some were unlucky when their bodies smashed hard into the nearby trunks of trees. She grinned partly due to the scene before her of bandits being flung away, but also because of the guy who was coming up behind her, thinking he had the advantage. Little did he know that Lina was already powering up her next spell in preparation.

"Lighting!"

The light blinded the bandit who stumbled backwards, bringing his hands up to his eyes to protect them. Lina took his momentum of misfortune to her gain and slashed out at him with her short sword; wounding him and making him remember something he would never forget.

She glanced around at the area and noticed that the remaining numbers of bandits had dwindled down to a handful who were hoping of having a better time against Gourry. The rest were unconscious, wounded and refusing to fight, or ran away fleeing with what little dignity they had remaining.

Gourry grit his teeth as he found himself with an endless barrage of bandits. He yelled with the effort of swinging his sword forcefully to knock a couple of bandits away. Only when their swords clashed, something in Gourry's mind snapped and instead of seeing bandits, he noticed Lina on the other end of the sword. She slumped to her knees in exhaustion and looked up at him with those eyes of fear he remembered in his dream.

It threw the swordsman off guard and he stumbled away in shock. He dropped his sword to his side and brought his hands up to his head as he suddenly took in the situation that he was attacking Lina.

"No! Not this again. I'm not attacking you again!"

Lina watched the scene and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the normally well composed Gourry in trouble. Without a moment's hesitation, she cast Ray Wing as she didn't want to waste a second and then as she neared she concentrated on the other spell she needed. The Ray Wing faded and she let the momentum carry her for those few precious moments when she let off several well aimed Flare Arrows to take out the surrounding men.

Before they all hit the ground as well as Lina, she used Levitation to halt her descent and bring her to a stop before she collided with Gourry. She quickly landed before him as he slumped to his knees. His body was shaking all over and he was shook his head as though he was trying to refuse to believe something was or had been happening. Lina couldn't believe it was occurring all over again after thinking it was all somehow sorted out the previous night.

She knelt down and hugged the swordsman tightly, trying to offer him words of comfort which would hopefully calm him down but it seemed like there was no way of shaking him from it. He just kept mumbling something about being sorry for attacking her. She knew well enough that he never attacked her, but Gourry seemed absolutely certain that it had happened.

She bit into her lip with frustration as she realised that this was something she couldn't handle herself. She was going to need some sort of help with this. Pushing her head down into the crook of her neck, she realised that he couldn't keep going on like this. It was a danger to not only her, but him as well. At that precise moment, she felt like there was only one person she could really turn to.

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The sorceress and swordsman passed through the main city gates of Seyruun. Gourry looked around the place slowly and noticed immediately an ice cream vendor.

"Hey Lina. Fancy an ice cream. Amelia always went on about them being really nice." He asked.

"Sure thing. But you're paying, ok?"

"Ok then, my treat."

The swordsman then moved quickly over to the vendor and began to place his order. The initial smile on her face swiftly turned to a sombre, tired look. The past few days of travelling had been particularly tough on her. Gourry seemed to suffer from erratic mood swings, and a couple of times he had turned on her. She knew it was all linked to these memories he was regaining from when he was kidnapped by Phibrizzo.

Thankfully they were never as bad as that time when he begun choking her, but it wasn't very pleasant. She hated the feeling but she was slightly scared to be around him at times when he got angry or violent. He had broken a few chairs in the inns they stayed at and nearly slashed the bed in half with his sword after a heated argument. Then within moments, he seemed to turn back into his usual calm self.

Despite being scared of what may happen, Lina never really thought about leaving him. She knew that what was happening was not his fault and he needed help. She was going to do everything that she could to do that and this was why she endured this journey to Seyruun.

"Here you go!" Gourry exclaimed as he handed Lina her ice cream.

"Gourry?" She replied with a frown on her face.

"What is it?"

"You've eaten half of my ice cream."

"No I haven't." Gourry responded defensively.

"Well why is my ice cream about a quarter of the size of yours?"

"I guess the guy was nearly all out."

"Then what's all that ice cream all around your mouth?"

"Huh?" The swordsman was stumped.

Lina shook her head and had a slight grin on her face. She took the napkin provided with the ice cream and used it to wipe away the melted cream covering his mouth and the tip of his nose. Gourry blushed a little and tried to look away.

"You're such a messy eater sometimes."

"Does that mean you don't want your ice cream then?"

"Hell no! I'm eating it now!"

Lina stuffed whatever remained of the ice cream and Gourry sighed slightly as he realised he wasn't going to get to finish what he started. The pair then moved off and headed towards the castle.

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Princess Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun blinked in shock as Lina revealed to her what happened to Gourry, and the problems he was having.

"Mr. Gourry actually remembered something?" Amelia gasped.

"Amelia…this isn't really a good time to be joking." Lina looked a little sternly.

Amelia sat down in a chair as her strikingly majestic skirt flopped around her much like her expression.

"Poor Mr. Gourry. How terrible it must be for him to remember such a horrific event." Amelia sighed.

Lina sat down beside her and nodded a little.

"That's why we came here. I…well we were hoping you would be able to help him. Isn't there some sort of spell to make him feel better or normal again?"

"I can ask m advisors to try and take a look but I don't believe I have ever heard such a thing being cured by magic. I've seen many people who are trying to recover from wars who have very similar symptoms to what Mr. Gourry has. There was no way for us to help them." Amelia replied solemnly.

"…I see." Lina replied quietly as he bangs hid her face.

Amelia noticed the sudden down turn in mood in her friend and realised it was her fault. She quickly thought her way around the situation and did her best to make Lina feel better.

"It'll be ok Ms. Lina. Mr. Gourry will find a way to overcome this. He's very resilient and I know he'll do everything he can to make sure that whatever evil has a hold in his heart will be vanquished immediately."

Meanwhile Gourry was outside of the meeting room where Lina and Amelia were talking. He was sat on the stairs which led up to the room with his arm resting on his knee and his chin in his hand with a very bored expression.

"I hope those two aren't getting you into anymore trouble."

Gourry blinked and turned his head to the side to see Zelgadis walking along the corridor.

"Zel? What are you doing here?" Gourry asked in surprise.

"Well Amelia let me use the libraries here to look for clues on a cure. I'm coming up with a few interesting leads that I'll have to pursue soon. However I'm more interested in why you're here. I thought you and Lina were going off adventuring. At least that seemed your intention when we first got back." Zel replied a little more extensively than usual.

"Oh…that." Gourry looked down a little, his eyes turning a little serious.

Zel's eyes widened a little to see such a strange expression from the swordsman. He was used to seeing that particular expression in his own face when he looked at his cursed face in the mirror.

"I'm supposed to be the depressed one around here. Not you. Let's take a walk and you tell me what's been happening."

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Zel and Gourry had reached the royal gardens by the time the swordsman finished explaining everything that had happened. He sat down at one of the benches a brought his hands up to his head as recalling the events had been a little tough on him. Zel just stood there in shock, trying to take in the all the information he was given.

"You realise that none of this is your fault." Zel stated a little bluntly, although its aim was to help the swordsman.

"Of course it's my fault. I'm the one who's trying to harm her. I don't even know why she's stuck around with me."

"You can be dense sometimes Gourry, but you have to be really stupid to not realise why she's stuck around."

"That shouldn't matter."

"You'd be surprised."

Gourry stood up a little angrily and tried to make some space between himself and the chimera.

"What do you care? You should be more concerned about your cure." Gourry glanced towards him a little dangerously.

"Now I know you don't really mean that…"

The swordsman put a hand up to his head and shook it a little.

"I've been snapping at people a lot recently."

"It's ok. It's normal for someone who's gone through what you have."

"So how am I supposed to make it stop?" Gourry asked a little softly.

"To be perfectly honest with you, I don't really know."

Zel walked around Gourry so he was facing him.

"What I do know is that people tend to find their own way to defeat their past. Not everyone manages it, but some people do. Just be glad you have Lina who is willing to stick by your side through all of this. She'll help you when you feel like you're in your lowest moment." Zel concluded.

"You think I can get over this?" Gourry asked.

"I don't really know, but if I was to gamble on anyone it would be you. You two manage to pull off some amazing things, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again."

"What are you insinuating then, huh?" Lina responded with her arms crossed.

Both Zel and Gourry turned, blinking a little as they noticed both Amelia and Lina had joined them in the gardens rather secretly.

"Why, what do you think I was insinuating?" Zel replied once he composed himself with the initial surprise.

"Well I think we should take some time to catch up over some dinner." Amelia stated with a little wink.

"I'm game!" Gourry piped in.

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After a very large and fulfilling dinner where the chefs and servants of the castle were worked extremely hard, the sorceress and swordsman headed to their room. Amelia was kind enough to offer them a room to stay and was all too happy to make it one room instead of two. She even offered to have their room pampered up for a quiet relaxing evening for couples but Lina politely declined with a furious blush on her face.

"So what did Amelia say?" Gourry asked, slumping tiredly into a chair and smoothing his hand over a well fed stomach.

"She had seen the things you had been through with other people before but doesn't think there is any magical way of healing it."

"I figured so. Zel pretty much said the same thing, and mentioned it was up to me to work out a way to get over this."

Lina nodded a little as she removed her cloak and shoulder guards, dropping them in the corner of the room messily and then collapsing onto the bed.

"Why do you put up with this, Lina?" Gourry asked, tilting his head towards her.

"Put up with what?"

"Me."

"That's a kind of stupid question to ask, even by your standards."

"I don't mean like that. Why are you putting up with me when I'm nothing but snappy or even sometimes violent towards you?"

Lina sat up from the bed and looked over at him with crossed legs, with a little smile on her face.

"It's the same answer kurage. It's going to take a lot more than that for me to go running."

"Well what if I asked you to leave me alone?"

Lina blinked at what the swordsman was saying.

"I guess you would be disappointed because I'm not leaving you alone." Lina stated a little seriously, feeling like Gourry was treading dangerous ground here.

"Even if I insisted?"

"Look Gourry. I'm not leaving you alone because quite frankly I'm afraid of what might happen if you're left to your own devices. I know I'm not always so upfront about it and I probably don't say it enough, but you know what I'm like. I love you Gourry, and I care about you way too much to just leave you alone where you might end up hurting yourself or maybe worse."

"I'm scared of hurting you though. Dammit Lina, I nearly killed you!"

"But you didn't."

Lina rolled off the bed and walked over to Gourry, kneeling down beside him as he still sat on the chair.

"I believe you didn't kill me because you still have a control of yourself deep inside. That part inside of you is what makes you do all those things on instinct. It makes you go beyond what you think you're capable of and do the unbelievable. You do it all without thinking because you know in the end it's all just for the one you care about." Lina told the swordsman, placing a hand over his chest as she did her best to explain things.

As she spoke to him, her thoughts were on the things she did for him like casting the Giga Slave. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have been brave enough to do something which could have destroyed the world. She risked it all, her life the world just to save him and she knew if she had the chance again to do anything differently, she wouldn't take it. She had watched all her friends die before her eyes, but it wasn't enough until his life was in true danger.

It was as she started to think about all these things that she began to realise what she would have to do. She had taken the easy option by coming to Seyruun and asking for help from Amelia. Taking in her own words and realising that she could do things she thought would be impossible if it wasn't for him, she realised that she would have to do something that she thought was impossible.

She moved slowly and settled into his lap where she started to kiss him gently. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and replied to the kiss with his own. They continued like that for some time before the burning desire deep inside took over and the soft gentle kisses turned into deep passionate ones. Their little moment together moved from the chair to the bed and all too quickly it was over. Tiredness won the pair of them over, taking one to a pleasant, enjoyable sleep and the other to his worst nightmare.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.

Gourry knew that what he was going through was just a dream. Despite knowing that, the dream still felt very real and was so disturbing to him. He had it many times before but still it kept coming back to haunt him. Each time it seemed to get worse and worse and no matter how much he tried to fight it off, it continued to strike fear into his soul.

He was holding Lina's lifeless in body in his hands. Around her neck were darkly bruised finger marks where he strangled her. Her stomach was bloody from the sword wound. Her cheeks stained with tears as she refused to fight back against him. He'd seen this in his dreams repeatedly but it horrified him still. He wished there as some way to make them go away but he never knew how.

His eyes quickly flashed open as he felt the sweet relief of being awake which meant he wouldn't have to go through the sickening thought of murdering Lina. Only he quickly began to realise that his dreams were slowly becoming reality. His hands were around Lina's throat and this time he was fully aware of what he was doing. Before his brain registered to let go, he felt a pair of strong arms grab onto him roughly and throw him into the corner of the room.

He smacked hard into the wall and was left dazed. He was about to react and see what was going on, only to find himself pinned down forcefully. His eyes started to adjust to the darkness and noticed that it was Zelgadiss holding him down. He heard choking and coughing from Lina and couldn't describe the relief he felt knowing Lina was okay.

"Lina!?" Amelia spoke desperately as she placed her hands over the sorceress's neck and began a healing spell.

"Take me away now Zel…" Gourry said softly as his eyes drifted away to the side.

"What?" He replied, with a look of confusion in his eyes.

"Get me away from her now. I can't be near her."

"Don't you want to be here?"

"NO! Get me away before I hurt her again!" Gourry yelled in fury.

Zelgadiss just nodded discreetly and pulled the swordsman up. He kept a tight hold of Gourry as he led him away. Amelia glanced up at the two of them with a worried look before returning her attention to Lina. The princess continued her healing spell and within a few moments Lina felt well enough to try and push her away. Amelia complied and stopped her spell, then moved away from her slightly.

"Are you alright?" Amelia asked with concern.

"If I'm being totally honest? I've felt better..." Lina croaked as she tried to joke.

Just speaking set her off into a coughing fit as her windpipe still felt about half the size as it should normally be. Amelia moved in close again and rubbed her back gently to help her. Once she managed to get past the coughing fit, only one thing remained on her mind.

"Where's Gourry?" Lina spoke, her voice cracking slightly.

"Mister Zel has taken him away." The princess replied.

"Is he ok?"

"You should really be more worried about yourself right now, Miss Lina."

"I'm fine Amelia! I'm breathing aren't I?"

"Well…barely."

"I'm just worried about him. I'm…I'm scared of what he might do to himself."

Zelgadiss continued to escort the swordsman through the corridors until he could find an empty room. Gourry went in first and went to the corner, falling to his knees and using the wall to keep himself upright. Zelgadiss closed the door behind him and then pulled up a chair.

"You know this wasn't your fault Gourry. You shouldn't be beating yourself up over this." Zel told him calmly.

"I just nearly killed her, Zel! They were my hands around her neck! How can you say this wasn't my fault?" Gourry growled at the chimera.

"Was it your intention though? Did you decide to do it?"

"Of course not…"

"Then that's why it's not your fault."

Gourry brought his hands up to his head and shook it slightly.

"It doesn't matter if I meant it or not. I still nearly killed her and it's happened more than once."

"Gourry, don't say that…"

"I'm supposed to be her protector. How do you protect someone from yourself? I've just got to stay away from her until this all get's sorted out."

"You know Lina won't let you do that."

"How do you know? After tonight she probably wants to get as far away from me as possible…"

Zel smiled slightly as he leaned back into the chair and then shook his head a little.

"You make me wonder sometimes if you ever learn. You've seen what Lina has been through in the past. You were there beside me when she took down Shabranigdo. She's not going to give up on you so easily.

A knock came from the door which startled the pair of them. The door slowly opened and Amelia's head slowly appeared as she peered into the room.

"Is Mr Gourry okay now?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, he's fine." Zelgadiss replied despite the obvious look of disagreement from Gourry.

Amelia nodded and her head disappeared. Then moments later the door opened wider and Lina walked in with Amelia close behind. Zel took notice and stood up from the chair, walking past Lina and grabbing Amelia's arm so he could leave Lina and Gourry alone. Amelia initially protested but Zelgadiss ignored them, although one voice did make him stop.

"Don't leave her alone with me!" Gourry pleaded.

Lina looked a little shocked to see Gourry act like that and turned to Zelgadiss who also stopped in his tracks. He turned back to Gourry and then looked over to Lina. Lina shook her head in a sort of silent reply and Zelgadiss nodded and continued to walk away taking Amelia with him, closing the door behind the both of them.

"Don't do this Lina…I'm scared of attacking you again." He stated, bringing his hands to his head.

"Well I'm scared of what you could do to yourself." Lina replied bluntly with crossed arms.

"What are you talking about?" The swordsman responded in confusion.

Lina moved closer to him and grabbed his arm, pulling the sleeve of his nightshirt up his arm to reveal the scars from where he had been cutting himself recently. She didn't like seeing them but she did notice that there weren't any additions which meant he either stopped cutting or continued somewhere else.

"Maybe harming myself is the best thing to do. Maybe then I would stop harming you."

Lina slapped the swordsman harshly across the cheek, her own face burning with anger. Gourry's head snapped to the side and left it there in shock. He brought a hand up to his cheek which started to glow a painful looking red. He then slowly turned it back to look at Lina who glared at him unapologetically.

"I don't want you to even think about that. Hurting yourself is not the answer to the situation and if anything it will make it worse. You think harming or killing yourself will make things better? That's such a defeatist attitude that I would never expect from you Gourry." Lina spoke down to him with a low, cold and threatening voice.

"Then what am I supposed to do to stop harming you!?" Gourry yelled in reply, not liking the way he was being talked to.

"I…don't know." Lina looked down to her feet.

She took a slow deep breath and closed her eyes as she felt like she had to come to terms with a few things she had kept out of mind for too long now.

"I don't know how to make this stop, so we have to find help. The only person I know who could probably help us…is my dad, back at home."

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The journey to Zefiel City took a total of about two weeks. During that time the situation between the sorceress and swordsman was a little heated. They made their best attempts to keep things as normal as usual but Gourry was too on edge about hurting Lina that he couldn't relax. Lina struggled with that since she couldn't stand Gourry being on edge the entire time. It was as though she couldn't relax because he wasn't able to.

Night time was a particularly rough period. Initially Gourry would refuse to sleep in the same room as Lina in fear of causing her anymore harm. More so since he knew Zelgadiss and Amelia were no longer around to help in case anything did happen. Lina on the other hand refused to leave Gourry alone in fear of what he might end up doing to himself. They eventually settled with a compromise which meant that they would sleep in the same room but in separate beds and in the case of a room without two beds, Gourry won the coin toss to sleep on the floor.

However, the decision they both made and what actually happened didn't turn out to be the same thing. Gourry spent a lot of the night awake, refusing to let sleep take him back to that nightmare. He was scared of falling asleep and waking to find that the nightmare had come true. It was tough for him but it was surprising how well fear could make a person do something difficult.

Gourry tried his best to hide the side effects of not getting enough sleep but it was pretty obvious to Lina what he was doing. The dark rings around his eyes were the biggest give away. He also tended to doze off during their breaks in travelling. He never got into a deep enough sleep during those breaks for him to have those bad dreams but he also woke up with a startle in fear of what he might be doing to Lina.

Lina watched him every single time and it tore her up that she wasn't able to help him. Most of the time, magic was the best way to solve a problem. She could often just blow it up and make it go away. In the cases where that didn't work, Amelia or Sylphiel would help out by healing to make someone better. None of these things would work with Gourry's problem and it only made her think the one thing she despised the thought of. That she was some how inadequate. She was unable to do things herself and needed the help of others.

She never had to rely on others before and she refused to believe it even if she did need help. After all, she had managed to find her own way through difficult situations before. Only this time there wasn't a thing she could do because she knew there was nothing she could do. That was why she was making this journey back to her home. She never thought she would make this journey unless something happened to her family.

Her main fear of returning was the punishment she would most likely receive from her elder sister for a little money making stunt she performed. She left home before she got to find out what her reaction was and she didn't really have any intention of finding out. Her other worry was that going back home might mean she would never leave again.

She always felt like she wanted to go travelling and her sister even advised doing so. However the thought of leaving was so difficult to her because of what she was leaving behind. She didn't like the thought of leaving her loving parents behind. Maybe that was why she pulled that little stunt. That was her incentive to leave before she found herself stuck there for the rest of her life. Now she was heading back, she wasn't sure what she could do to make herself leave once more.

So why was she making herself go back home despite all these other things that kept her away for all that time? She knew her father had spent time as a mercenary himself much like Gourry. Her thought was that maybe he had been through a similar experience and would be able to help Gourry get through his. Her father never really talked to her about those times but maybe he would do so with Gourry since they would have that link in their pasts.

That was all that was helping her fight down the growing nervousness in the pit of her stomach. She had to do something to help Gourry, and if she couldn't do it herself then she was going to find someone who could. She had made that promise to him after all and she wasn't going to start going back on her promises. It still didn't make any of this easier for her.

The sorceress and swordsman walked through the city gates of Zefiel City and continued along the main path. Gourry spent much of his time taking in the sights of the city. He had been to Zephilia before, but had never been to the capital before so this was a new experience for him. Lina on the other hand just stared at the cobbled road a few feet in front of her. The fear of returning home started to overwhelm the sorceress as she ground to a halt.

"I can't do this." Lina spoke quietly, her feet refusing to move another inch forward.

Gourry turned around as he just noticed that Lina was no longer beside him. He looked towards her and despite looking down to the ground he could see the fear in her body language. He moved back towards the diminutive sorceress and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and noticed despite his tired look, the calming expression he used to have before his problems began.

"It's ok Lina. I'm your protector remember? I won't let anything bad happen to you." He told her.

Lina looked at him, feeling a little warmness overcome and expel some of the fear she felt inside. She nodded slowly and felt a little smile creep across her face. She took in a deep breath and moved a tentative foot forward and then continued with a slowly growing confidence as the swordsman walked beside her.

Gourry glanced back towards the sorceress and could see that confidence come back slightly, but the fear was still there. However her confidence was over riding the fear which made him realise she would be able to handle whatever was worrying her. It was something he admired in her and knew she had around the time they fought Shabranigdo.

They continued to walk through the streets of the city, as Lina continued to keep focused on walking home and not turning foot to run away. Gourry was busy noticing the people going about their daily business with a certain number of those people turning towards the pair and starting to whisper between each other. Glancing to Lina once more, he realised that she probably didn't even realise people were looking at them. Suddenly being stared at and knowing people were talking about him made him feel uncomfortable. His best way to handle it was to just smile slightly and continue walking, and hope that they would get wherever they were going soon.

They turned the corner and Lina froze mid step once more. Gourry stood beside her and could see her focusing straight ahead. He followed her line of sight which led to a well kept house which didn't seem overly large, or really small. It was a house you would expect a typical family to live in. Definitely not the type of home you would expect the most powerful sorceresses in the world to come from.

This wasn't like before where it was as though Lina was about to turn back. This time she was preparing herself to move on, and with a deep breath she did just that. Gourry continued alongside her and automatically she hooked her arm with his, taking great comfort that he was beside him.

Gourry opened the small wooden gate and allowed Lina through before closing it behind the both of them. They walked along the stone footpath which had a colourful garden either side of it. The pair then reached the door where Lina raised her gloved fist and knocked a couple of times on the door. Then they had to wait for what seemed like an eternity, Lina clutching onto her cape and biting her lower lip with the anticipation.

The clanking of the metallic lock on the door was heard and then with a slow creak, the door opened.

"Hello? What can I…? Sweetie?" The unknown woman to Gourry spoke.

"Mama!" Lina replied with tears already filling her eyes and then quickly falling off her cheeks.

She fell into her mother's arms and started to sob uncontrollably. The mother held onto her daughter just like she had many years earlier whenever she scraped her knee after falling over. She comforted her, stroking her hand gently down the back of her head and through her brown locks. She soothed her with calming words which seemed to quieten down the sobbing until Lina was left just sniffling into her mother's shoulder.

"Who's at the door Ma?" Another voice was heard from further in the house and then the growing sound of footsteps was heard.

A young lady with purple hair just above her shoulder appeared behind Lina's mother. Gourry would have swore it was a relative of Xellos' if it wasn't for that Lina's mother and this person's mother was the same which made him come to the conclusion that this was Lina's sister, Luna. So then his next train of thought was how two sisters could have such different chest sizes.

"Oh, sis is back. And she's brought a pervert. Did he knock Lina up?" She spoke calmly with her eyes slightly covered. She was obviously aware of where Gourry's eyes were looking and so his obvious response was to look somewhere else. His boots seemed very interesting all of a sudden.

Lina's mother pulled away from her daughter and noticed the tall blonde man for the first time. Luna's words and Lina's reaction seemed to make sense in the mother's head and within moments she had pulled the rolling pin from her apron and started to repeatedly smack the swordsman.

"Aghh! Ow! Help!" Gourry replied with yelps of pain.

The only thing he could think to do was to try and raise his arms in defence as he was beaten to a near pulp. It wasn't until Lina moved between her mother and Gourry that she stopped.

"Stop it Mama! You didn't raise me to get knocked up by accident!" Lina blushed.

"So you got knocked up on purpose?" Luna smirked.

"NO! I'm not pregnant!" Lina growled, with clenched fists down at her side.

"That's silly. You can't get pregnant if you use protection." Gourry responded whilst still recovering from his beating.

"Gourry!?" Lina screeched.

"Pro…tection?" Lina's mother replied with a stutter and then collapsed to the floor as she fainted.

"You're in soo much trouble." Luna scolded her little sister slightly as she looked down to her mother.

"I knew I shouldn't have come home!" Lina whined and then punched Gourry in the arm hard who winced in response.

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Adalric Inverse returned home to find a tall blonde familiar looking man standing in the doorway while his two daughters were bickering with each other. His wife appeared unconscious on the floor.

"Lina's home…" He grinned to himself and then chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

Lina blinked and turned around when she heard the sound of footsteps from the path. That sound brought her right back to the days when she was much longer. Out of instinct she pushed past Gourry and ran into the arms of her father.

"Papa!" She yelled in delight, forgetting the embarrassment from moments earlier.

"Welcome back sweetie." Adalric groaned as he took the initial force of her now fully grown daughter flinging herself towards him like she used to when she was a third of the size. "You've grown! What happened to your mother?"

"She found out Lina was pregnant." Luna responded nonchalantly.

"I am not pregnant!" Lina growled, glaring at her older sister.

Her previous fears of her sister which once made her try and dig her own grave, now was quickly being replaced by annoyance.

"That guy wouldn't get Lina pregnant." Adalric stated as his eyes moved from his daughter, to Gourry and then back.

"What makes you say that?" Lina asked looking a little shocked.

Meanwhile Gourry was knelt down by Lyra, making sure she was ok and hadn't hurt herself during her fall. Adalric smiled at the sight.

"Just a feeling." He replied and then entered the house, kneeling down beside his wife.

"I think she's ok, she just seemed to be a little shocked from the news." Gourry said.

"It's ok. I'm sure she'll come around in a few minutes. What was the news?" Adalric asked.

"DON'T!" Lina shrieked but she was too late.

"That we use protection." Gourry said as simply as good morning.

Lina looked on with a slight cringe, waiting for the repercussion. She noticed the vein appearing from the side of her father's but was surprised that nothing more came.

"Protection, huh?" Adalric's voice was strained as he tried to hold off the anger. "Better than nothing I suppose. I'm just going to take Lyra upstairs."

Adalric took a hold of his wife's unconscious body and carefully carried her upstairs. Lina growled angrily and shoved her way past Luna and Gourry, quickly following her parents upstairs.

"Welcome to the Inverse family." Luna stated with a slight smirk before walking past Gourry then stopping, turning slowly towards the swordsman. "I'd like a little chat with you."

Gourry gulped a little as he noticed the slight glare from the elder sister and quickly realised where some of Lina's fear for her sister came from.

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Adalric placed Lyra gently on the bed in their room where Lina suddenly burst in.

"I'm sorry for the blonde idiot downstairs but I'm not apologising for what's been done. I love him, okay? I'm not that little kid anymore. I'm a grown woman who is madly in love with a man who I care deeply for!" The sorceress spouted out quickly.

"I know, Lina. You don't have to apologise."

"Then why is Mama passing out while you're seconds from bursting in anger?"

"Shock. I'm sorry Lina but you've been gone for so long and you were still young when you left. We still have that vision of you in our heads. So to suddenly see that little girl grown up and finding out she's…well, it's a shock."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Of course. I mean at least you're using protection, right?"

Lina started to blush a deep red.

"We're not talking about this anymore…" Lina replied meekly. "But there is a reason why I've come back. Gourry needs help."

"With tact?"

Lina grinned slightly but then quickly shook her head and regained her composure as the troubles that she had shared with Gourry quickly returned to her mind.

"He's remembering some things from his past that he's spent along time trying to hide in his memories. They're coming back and they're affecting him really badly. Actually they're affecting the both of us."

"So that's what he meant with protection?"

"Dammit Dad! If this keeps going he might kill himself! This is no joke!" Lina yelled but then quickly regretted yelling at her own father. "I'm sorry."

"No it's my fault."

"I love him and I don't want to lose him. I've always been able to solve things myself but there is nothing I can do to help him with this. I've tried my friends but no one can help. You're all I have left."

Adalric stroked his wife's forehead gently as he took in the information.

"I'll speak with him and see what I can do."

"Thank you." Lina replied and hugged her father tightly who returned it.

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"So you've been fooling around with my sister?" Luna had her arms crossed as she stood in front of the seated swordsman.

"I'm not fooling with anything. I love Lina." Gourry replied.

"Why my sister?"

Gourry blinked at the question and looked down at the ground to think seriously. The question confused him slightly and it made him feel as though Luna was telling him he could be in love with someone else. He simply shrugged and looked up to the elder sister.

"I don't know why I love your sister. I just know that when I'm around her I feel better and feel good about myself. I always felt the need to protect her and I've promised that I'll always do that. I guess maybe the need to protect her is because of the way I feel about her. I have no idea why I have these feelings for your sister though. I wonder if Ceipheid or maybe that Lord of Nightmares person knows why."

Luna smirked at the mention of Ceipheid but she was more surprised by the response she received. She didn't really get the response she was looking for but found she learnt more about him than she thought capable of.

"You realise that as her elder sister I have a duty to protect her from anyone that might harm her. Specifically people like you."

"If anyone needs protecting, I think it's me!"

"I guess she did learn a few things from me after all." Luna smiled to herself. "You seem like a genuine person. If you're anything like my father was then Lina will be very lucky to have you."

Gourry blinked a little but just nodded slowly as he wasn't really sure what to make of the situation. It felt like an interrogation at first and now it seemed like he was being given a blessing.

"You better not be giving him a hard time." Lina stated as she walked down the stairs with her father not far behind.

"Now why would I waste that on him when I could just concentrate on you?" Luna glared towards her younger sister.

Lina gulped slightly.

"I would have thought the two of you would grow up by now to not bicker between each other." Adalric groaned.

"It must be tough. Lina can get pretty bad but to have two must have been a nightmare."

The Inverse sisters glared threateningly towards Gourry.

"I'm going to get some fresh air…" Gourry mentioned cautiously as he got up from the chair and carefully moved towards the front door, being careful not to turn his back on either of them.

"I hope you don't mind if I join you, Gourry?"

"I'm ok with that…" Gourry gulped.

"You two should go upstairs. Your mother should be waking up soon and you should help her out."

"But Dad…" The pair whined in unison.

"Don't make me tell you twice."

Lina and Luna sighed and then trudged upstairs with heavy feet while Gourry and Adalric stepped outside. They both went for a walk through the city.

"Jeez they can be scary. How do you cope?" Gourry asked.

"I'm their father. It's in the job description. I guess it makes them feel I have authority over them. Anyway, Lina tells me you have been having a problem."

Gourry's eyes darkened slightly as he hung his head. Being brought back to reality hit him like cold water.

"Yeah I do. I'm not too sure I really want to talk about it right now."

"Well Lina thinks otherwise. Maybe if you tell me about it, it might make you feel better. Who knows, I might even be able to help."

"I don't know. It's kind of a long story."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. Just tell me about it from the beginning."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.

Gourry sighed when he was pretty much told to talk about everything that had happened. He wasn't too sure he wanted to bring up all these memories again. All he had known was that when these memories came to him, bad things happened. And usually those bad things would happen to Lina, the last person he wanted bad things to happen to.

However, he noted that Adalric mentioned that Lina brought up the subject. After all, it was Lina who had brought him here for help. Despite his unwillingness to speak about his past, this was to protect Lina. He did make that promise to her and so he was going to abide by it. It didn't matter if he had to use his sword, or let go of the feelings he had inside.

"The Sword of Light has been in my family for a long time. I mean a really long time. The sword would be passed from the father to his oldest son and it has been like that for as long as is known. You would think there would be lots of fights going on with the younger sons but I guess my ancestors didn't have many children. I remember my grandfather telling me that his parents and their parents didn't have many children. He told me it was because quite often kids would get sick and would die back then."

Gourry stared at the ground before him as they walked through the streets slowly. Adalric did the same and paid close attention to what Gourry said.

"I was the younger of two and so my older brother was going to get the Sword of Light, just like my father got the sword instead of his two younger brothers. I guess I didn't mind so much if I didn't get the sword but I could see that my uncles were jealous of my father.

I still remember my father teaching my brother how to fight. I would always watch from a far and try and copy what they did. My father noticed and smiled, he liked the fact that I was trying even though I was never going to get the sword. It turned out I was starting to practice more than my brother. My mother seemed to think that my older brother thought that since the Sword of Light was his, he didn't have to work as hard.

I didn't really pay attention to that during the time and just concentrated on my swordsmanship and listening to the advice my mother would give me. She would teach me about being kind to others and those less fortunate than myself. I hope that she's proud of me and forgiven me for some of the things I've done."

The two of them stopped by a small playing field within the town. They both sat down at a bench where Gourry continued on.

"I guess the trouble started when I was about fifteen. It was then I started to notice that my uncles were jealous of my father. They often spoke to my older brother in secret. There was growing frustration because he wasn't given the sword yet. My father explained that he wasn't ready yet but I guess my uncles believed that my father just wanted to keep the sword for himself for as long as possible.

At that point I left home to further my skills as a swordsman. My father told me that being a mercenary would give me good experience. Not only would I improve my swordsmanship but I would also learn how to get by with little money. I was nervous about leaving my family behind especially when things were looking bad but my father told me things would be ok. I was excited at the thought and so I did as he said and left.

I'd get paid just for general jobs. Normally they were the dirty ones that no one really wanted to do, but I made money and that's all that really mattered at the time. I didn't think much about what I was doing. I just remembered the things I learnt from my father and just concentrated on the fact that I needed the money.

Then there was a big job. A group of us had become good friends and we all looked out for each other. When this job came, we jumped at the chance because there was a great pay. I was the youngest of the group but we were all caught up in the size of the pay. We would have been able have a real good month or so, staying in nice hotels and eating good food instead of sitting around a camp fire and eating rations.

We were paid by a lord who had joined a group of many others in an uprising in Lyzeille. It was a mistake to take the job and we should have realised it from the start. To be paid so much money obviously meant huge risks, but we all felt invincible. We were fighting against a whole country! If I had used my common sense and not looked at the money I would have realised it was suicide.

In the end we didn't back out and we were there on the frontlines. We saw the opposing army and realised we had made a mistake. However we were paid for a job and so we had to do it. That was the unwritten code. It was horrible watching my friends die around me and no matter how hard I fought and tried, I just wasn't fast enough to protect them.

I was knocked out from behind and I don't know who I should thank but I woke up several hours later. At the time I thought I was dead and I was in hell. How could a place on this world look so terrible? As far as I could see there were dead bodies and blood. The smell was horrific and within moments I was vomiting. My hands were covered in the blood of my dead friends. It all became too much for me to be honest.

I had my sword but no desire to use it ever again after witnessing what terrible things it was capable of. All I could think about was heading back home. It was the only place of comfort I could think of. I thought that my parents would tell me that everything was ok. I headed back to Elmekia and did everything I could to forget the horrors of that battle.

I returned to find that one morning my father was found dead. All hell broke loose and there was fighting within the family. My uncles turned against each other and there were arguments over who should get the sword. Some would say that my older brother should have got it. Others said the next eldest should get the sword which meant one of my uncles. I didn't care who got the damned sword just as long as all the fighting would stop.

It wouldn't stop and there was nothing but bloodshed amongst family members and close friends. The family was forced to split into two; you were either on one side or the other. It tore me apart because our family was pretty happy up until then. I hated seeing them fighting and I knew it was all because of that stupid sword. That sword caused the death of my father and some of my family."

"So you stole it?" Adalric said quietly.

Gourry just nodded slowly in reply.

"I'm guessing the fighting didn't stop then." He added.

"From what I heard, not much changed. At first things got even worse because the sword was stolen. One side accused the other of stealing, and the same accusation was returned. Then when they found out what happened and that I was the one that took it, they directed their anger towards me. They claimed that the other side forced me to steal it for them but apparently I double crossed them and took it for myself. I heard my brother was really really angry with me.

I thought that maybe if I got rid of the cause of the argument then the fighting would stop. Not long before I met Lina, I heard that the fighting had started to die down. Apparently both my uncles were killed in a fight. I guess that meant they were the leaders of the fighting. I still think my brother hates me though."

Adalric placed a hand on Gourry's shoulder. "What you did was done with the best of intentions. I have a feeling that your father didn't want to give the sword to your brother because he found someone else more deserving of it. I think he wanted to give the sword to you."

"That's what my mother told me but I still feel guilty about it to this day. I sometimes think what I did was cowardly. I just ran away from the problems instead of facing up to them. I was seventeen and felt like I could do things myself, and solve all the problems but I just avoided them. But then I wonder if I had done it sooner, maybe my father would still be alive. He might have been angry with me for stealing it, but at least he would be alive."

Adalric looked down at the ground whilst sat on the bench, trying to take all the information in. He would have said some words to make Gourry feel better but he admitted to himself that there wasn't much he could say. He couldn't imagine being in that situation himself. He realised the difficulty of such a situation and wondered if he was in the same situation, would he have done anything different. He knew many would probably not have the bravery to do what Gourry did. He thought that many would have just kept quiet and not done much.

"So when I left, all I had was a magical sword and my swordsmanship skills. I had no home, no money. I thought about becoming a mercenary again but after what happened before I had my doubts. I had to make money though and that was the only way to do it. I started to do small jobs again but tried to not make a big group of friends again in fear of losing them all like last time.

I made a couple of friends and the jobs kept coming to keep me going. However my mind was always on Elmekia and when I heard things weren't really calming down, I decided enough was enough. There just didn't seem to be much point to things."

"So you decided to throw the sword away." Adalric interjected.

"How did you know that?" Gourry replied with surprise.

"I have a policy to call a man second class when he doesn't care about his sword and I call him below third class when he is hard on his sword."

Gourry's eyes widened in shock as certain memories came back to him and things started to slot into place. A thought that had been nagging at him for awhile suddenly became clear.

"You're the guy with the fishing rod and you wouldn't tell me your name!"

"Took you long enough to work that out, Gourry. I never thought you to be the brightest person. You definitely have a good heart but not the sharpest brain."

"Lina insists I have yoghurt in there instead of brains."

"I would have to agree with her."

"So wait a minute. Does that mean you pointed me to Lina? I met her only four days after I left you."

"No. I hadn't seen Lina for two years. It must have been a complete coincidence. Some might call it fate."

"I see. I just had the thought you sent Lina after me to get the Sword of Light. She was pestering me for it when she first realised I had it."

"Nah, that's just Lina. She's knows when something is valuable or powerful and she just has to have it. She picked that up from her parents. We both became merchants after settling down. I was a mercenary like you whilst Lyra was a sorceress like Lina."

Gourry blinked when that little bit of information was revealed to him. Then he smiled a little.

"I remember now, you mentioned you were a mercenary. I never thanked you for helping me then. I'm not sure what I would have done at that time. Probably could have died eating that poison fish."

"You could give me that Sword of Light as thanks."

Gourry smiled and shook his head.

"I don't have it anymore, but even if I did I'm sorry but I wouldn't be able to give it to you."

"What happened to it?"

"It's been returned to the place it belongs. I think it's for the best. It should never have been in my family in the first place. At least now there is a good excuse for them not having it anymore instead of just me stealing it."

"So you didn't give it to Lina then."

"Nope."

"You're either very brave, or stupider than I thought."

"I have a feeling after some time Lina didn't really care about having it anymore. We stayed together even after I gave it away."

"It sounds like you've been through a lot together."

Gourry's eyes narrowed as he stared at the ground once more. He recalled their close encounters. The incident with Phibrizzo remained the strongest memory to haunt his dreams along with his past as a mercenary.

"There have been a lot of real good times, and a few scary close calls. We've fought mazoku lords and continued on as always once the battles were over. It's been the best period of my life. I didn't have to worry about the problems at home. The friends I had lost were finally buried. I had meaning to my life for once."

"I couldn't agree with you more. Travelling with Lyra and having adventures was great, although fighting powerful mazoku was something we missed out. I think I'm glad we did!"

"Yeah. Those battles weren't something to enjoy at the time. It wasn't like we were looking for those battles. They just happened, and we couldn't just walk away and pretend it didn't happen. But the relief you get afterwards is something that can't be described. You're just glad to still be alive."

Adalric looked closer to the swordsman and could still see something was bothering him. It was all in the eyes.

"So you got through those events pretty much unscathed." Adalric mentioned.

Gourry shook his head slightly.

"There was on particular battle that stands out. It's something I've only really become aware of until recently. I was kidnapped by Phibrizzo and turned into a puppet. He tried to make me kill Lina."

Adalric's eyes glared slightly towards Gourry.

"Just recently I've started to learn what happened. At the time I had no memory of the events. Lina never told me about what happened. I think she knew how I would feel if I had learnt what happened. I just remember waking up and being in a cold dark place. I was myself then, but soon I heard his voice. He made himself to be like a child. I was protecting him before, wanting to keep him safe. How was I supposed to know he was a mazoku lord?"

Gourry clenched his fists as he recalled the events.

"I could then feel the darkness trying to take over my body. I tried to fight it, I really did. I just wasn't strong enough. My next memory was attacking Lina and my friends. I couldn't stop my body. I screamed and begged for it to stop, but I just continued to fight. I was at a point where I was capable of a finishing blow. I didn't want it to happen and so I tried as hard as I could and my body started to react. But the darkness just strengthened its hold on me and I struck downwards. Thank Ceipheid that Lina was no longer there."

Gourry buried his head in his hands and his shoulders started to shake.

"I thought I was going to kill her."

"But you didn't Gourry. You didn't kill her."

"But I'm supposed to be her protector! I should have been able to resist!"

"You're being too harsh on yourself. Despite what you feel, you're human and Phibrizzo was the strongest of the mazoku sub-lords. You did well to resist when you could but there wasn't a thing you could do no matter how hard you tried."

"It still doesn't make things better."

"No it doesn't, but you have to learn to live with it. Bad things happen Gourry, and no matter how hard you try you can't stop it. But you learn to live with it. You learn to carry on. Otherwise you would just give up and what would be the point? If you gave up, you would never have met Lina. If you give up now, what else could you miss out on?

I've had my fair share of bad experiences, and there are times I've felt like giving up, but I know if I gave up, I would miss out on so much more. I would never have met Lyra. I would never have had two wonderful daughters and would never have been able to watch them grow up into amazing people.

No regrets Gourry. Life is too short to be able to regret things. There must be things you're scared to face right now, but you have to fight them head on. You have to embrace it and learn to deal with it. Only then will you be able to move on. But as long as you keep that fear, it's going to hold you back."

Gourry turned his head to the side to look to Adalric and nodded his head slightly.

"The more I let it hold me back, the more it's going to make me hurt Lina."

"Not just Lina, you'll hurt yourself too."

"But I'm supposed to be protecting Lina."

"I think it's got a little further than that Gourry."

Gourry's face turned a faint shade of red and looked away.

"I still want to be her protector. I really care about her and don't want anything bad to happen to her. These past few days I've been the one to case her harm."

"Maybe you want to protect her so much because deep inside you love her. I think it's pretty obvious that you're in love with her. And as he father I too want to protect my daughter. You protect her from harm like mazoku, where as I protect her from people like yourself who may harm her feelings. I'm interested to know where this will go."

"I'm going to protect her for the rest of my life. That was my promise to her and I'm going to keep it."

Adalric smiled at the immediate and simple reply.

"I'm sure you'll do a very good job with that Gourry."

"At the moment I'm not so sure about it with the way I've been."

"Well just remember what I've told you. I know it scares you more than anything else, but you have to fight it. You're doing this for Lina, right? That means you have to fight with all you that you have. You're not alone in feeling like this. I've seen this happen to plenty of other people. It's ruined the lives of some, and others have overcome it.

But never forget, you're not alone. Lina is there for you as well. I know she wants to protect you too. That's why she asked me to help you; she's worried and scared for your safety. You can overcome this if you're willing to fight."

Gourry nodded slowly and then stood up, Adalric joining him.

"Thank you…umm…I can't remember your name. Actually I don't think you ever gave me it."

"I didn't, did I? I suppose with the way things are, I should tell you now. My name is Adalric."

"Thanks Adalric."

Gourry offered a hand to shake. Adalric smiled and nodded a little, taking Gourry's hand and shaking firmly.

"We better check in on the girls" He then frowned.

"We weren't gone that long. What could they get up to?"

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"YAAGGGHHHHH!" Lina screeched with pure fear.

Luna had her pinned to the ground and was slowly dropping slugs onto her head.

"What did I tell you?" Adalric sighed to Gourry. He then turned to the two with a firm look. "I thought I told you two to look after your mother!"

Luna looked up and let go of Lina who shot up from the ground and raced to Gourry, wrapping her arms around him. Gourry was sure she was saying quite a few things but couldn't make them out since she was half crying and half mumbling into his tunic. He looked up to Luna whilst picking out the slugs from her hair.

"Mama woke up and said she wanted to be left alone, so Lina and I decided to do a little bit of catching up." Luna smirked with that last remark.

Adalric shook his head in what appeared to be slight annoyance. "I thought you two would have grown up by now."

"They're gone now right Gourry?" Lina sniffled with watery eyes as she clung onto the swordsman for dear life.

"Yeah, all gone now." He smiled whilst patting her back. Lina leaned into him for comfort before realising the company she was keeping.

Adalric smiled with a little grin when Lina sharply pulled away from Gourry and corrected herself, and then proceeded to give Luna one of her trademark death glares. Luna just returned the look with crossed arms and an amused smirk.

"Well I think it's time for some dinner. I would hate to force you two to your rooms just for acting like children." Adalric spoke with a demanding tone. The Inverse sisters suddenly turned to their father with innocent eyes. "I thought so."

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The Inverse family plus Gourry sat down for dinner and the mood was very good. Lina noticed the mood in Gourry was very different. He seemed much more like his old self and for that she mouthed a silent thank you to her father. He replied the same way with your welcome before she started to fight Gourry over a shank of lamb.

After dinner, they all sat round in a circle and exchanged stories. Gourry and Lina spoke of the adventures they got up to. Adalric and Lyra spoke of things that happened in the store. Luna kept mainly quiet but that was not too unusual within the Inverse household.

After some time, Gourry excused himself and stepped outside for a little fresh air. A few moments later Lina joined him outside. A quick glance around the area confirmed to her that they were alone and she leaned back into Gourry. The swordsman wrapped his arms around her and rested his head gently on top of hers.

"So did your talk with my dad help?" She asked him, feeling comfortable in his arms.

"Yeah. I think it helped quite a bit. I'm not cured, but I think I can deal with it."

"You know I'm always here for you. You're not in this alone."

"I know, I know. I'm glad."

"Good, because if you think you can just push me away with all that crap about wanting to protect me, then you can forget about it!"

Gourry went quiet for a moment and squeezed Lina a little tighter.

"What is it?" She questioned.

"This isn't going to be easy and it's not going to be pleasant. I'm still not sure I'm going to be strong enough."

"I know it won't be easy. I also know that you are strong enough. You also should realise that when we fight together, we're pretty much invincible. I won't be going anywhere. I'll be right beside you when things get tough."

"Thanks Lina."

"Now let's go to bed before Luna puts slugs in there."

"What's the deal with the slugs?"

"We're NOT going there, ok?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.

The sorceress and swordsman decided to head off the next day and try to return to normality. It was Gourry's choice to try and return to their way of life but he had to make sure it was ok with Lina. He understood she hadn't been home for quite awhile and he didn't want to tear her away from that. However when they spoke about it, Lina seemed quite happy to go back out on the road.

She had missed her parents a lot and was glad to be able to catch up with them, but she didn't want to stick around too long in fear of what trouble her older sister could get her in. She'd already brought up the slugs on her and that was already one thing to many to be afraid of. The last thing she wanted was to leave home and be afraid of something else.

Gourry thought he would never forget the threat Luna gave him just as they were leaving that morning.

"If I find out anything happens to Lina, you break her heart or anything like that. I'll track you down and you won't like the consequences." She glared at him with a slight smirk as they shook hands.

The two were walking side by side as those words kept going through the swordsman's head, over and over.

"Hey Lina?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Luna have low blood pressure or something?"

Lina smiled and couldn't help but laugh.

"Is this because of what she said to you before?"

"Of course!"

"Look, don't worry about it. I don't think she'd really do such a thing. I guess she's just looking out for me and that's her way of doing it."

"You don't think she'll do it? Lina this is very important. Do you think, or do you know?"

Lina raised an eyebrow.

"Are you thinking of breaking my heart or anything like that?" Lina stated with a tone much similar to Luna earlier on.

"Umm…of course not!"

"Well then you have nothing to worry about!"

Gourry just stared ahead like he had seen a ghost. Lina looked to Gourry with the corner of her eye and could see the look on his face. She tried to play it straight and let the worry get to him but that face was too funny. She began to giggle and then the giggle turned into a full-hearted laughter. She stopped and doubled over slightly, holding onto her own stomach. Gourry stopped and turned to her and could see what she was doing.

"You were playing with me?" He asked.

"Yeah, but you should have seen the look on your face!" Lina replied in between bursts of laughter.

"That's nothing to joke about!" Gourry stated with a slightly hurt look.

"Aww c'mon Gourry. That was pretty fun."

"I guess."

Lina then spent the next few moments catching her breath back from all the laughing before standing up straight.

"Luna was just being protective, and that's the way she goes about it. She has a funny way of showing how she feels."

"I could say the same about you." Gourry grinned.

"Likewise, with the chest comments" Lina glared slightly. "Now let's get going, ok?"

As they continued walking, Gourry seemed to still be thinking about something and Lina was able to catch onto it pretty quickly.

"What's wrong now Gourry?"

"We have to go back."

"Go back where?"

"To Lyzeille. If I'm going to get over this, we have to go back there. That's the place where all the problems began and that's the only place where I can end them."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Not really to be honest, but I have to get it done otherwise something really bad might happen. I want things to be back to the way they were."

"To Lyzeille we'll go then."

Lina reached her hand out to Gourry's and just squeezed gently. The fears Gourry felt inside suddenly vanished with that little gesture, and responded by squeezing her hand back gently. Lina then pulled her hand away pretty quickly and continued walking alongside Gourry hoping that she would be able to help him now with what he was going to face, worried that returning to that battleground in Lyzeille might bring up some of her own demons.

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After a week of travelling, Lina and Gourry had stopped off at an inn. They were already in Lyzeille and were now not too far from the battleground where Gourry lost his friends and where he was forced to fight Lina and the gang. They had already eaten and were in the rooms after leaving a trail of devastation at the restaurant downstairs. All of the staff were still busily cleaning the dishes long after most of the customers had left.

Lina kicked off her boots and shrugged off her cloak and shoulder guards. They hit the ground and were left as a pile on the floor. She then let herself simply fall back onto the bed and let out a loud sigh of satisfaction.

"Ahh, that meal was really good. I'm glad we decided to take an inn for tonight. We wouldn't have been able to do that without walking for longer those two days."

"Yeah, but now I've got blisters on my feet from all the walking. And don't you learn. You leave your stuff lying about on the ground and you'll lose it! Or someone will trip over and get hurt."

"Oh stop complaining Gourry. Come here and I'll heal your blisters."

Gourry got up from the chair after examining his feet and hobbled towards Lina when suddenly his feet got caught in her cape. He lost his balance and ending up falling, straight towards Lina. He collapsed on top of the sorceress and pinned her beneath him, his body straddling hers.

"Gourry!"

"I told you, Lina. Someone would trip with all that mess." He blushed, noticing the closeness.

"That's just because you're so clumsy. So…are you going to get off me?"

"Umm…sure."

The swordsman started to push himself off the bed and away from the sorceress when she reached up to the back of his neck and pulled him towards her closely.

"Wrong answer, kurage."

Lina blushed, not really believing how forward she was being. However, with Gourry being so close to her like that enabled her to smell his musky scent and feeling his strong body so near just made her snap and suddenly she was filled with desire.

Her lips brushed against his as his body quickly began to relax into hers. He had frozen solid at first with the surprise but now he was responding to the kiss, his fingers finding their way into her red/brunette locks. His other hand found its way sliding down her side and resting just gently on her hip, ready to start tearing her clothes apart and have them join the other clothes in the pile.

Lina was already pulling at Gourry's tunic and was stopped by his arms. Only when she started to grunt into his lips with frustration did he give in and lift his arms away from her body. She flung the tunic off and her hands immediately pressed against his bare skin, his long blonde hair falling off his shoulder like a golden waterfall. She pulled away from his lips and placed hers on his bare flesh, enjoying the satisfied moans he was releasing.

Gourry lost his concentration after what Lina was doing to him but soon found the need to get his own back a little. He managed to think a little despite what she was doing and began trying to undo her tunic. She conceded her arms but continued her assault with her lips and soon Gourry had undone her tunic and pulled away. His hands quickly found her breasts and began to massage them under his strong fingers.

Instantly Lina pulled away and groaned through the back of her throat. Quickly her arms wrapped around her neck and she hung on for dear life even though she was lying down. Gourry took that opportunity to lean down and kiss her neck, occasionally nipping her very gently.

Conceding to his attentions, Lina just enjoyed the sensations she was receiving from the blonde swordsman for a few moments. However she soon grew bored of not participating and found her fingers slipping beneath his trousers and attempting to pull them down. He complied but learnt from his previous encounter and began to remove hers at the same time, refusing to let her take the advantage.

The pair pulled each others trousers off and flung them onto the ever growing pile. They then found they couldn't wait any longer and began to attack the others underwear. Lina of course won having only to remove one piece of underwear, but Gourry wasn't far behind. The pair then quickly embraced one another and soon headed beneath the sheets in a tangle of blonde and red-brown hair, limbs and quiet moans of delight.

It seemed to be over all too soon for the sorceress and swordsman as they lay together with the sheets wrapped around the pair. Lina had her back to Gourry, resting against his chest. His blonde hair had fallen over his shoulders and over hers, mixing with her own hair. She snuggled into him comfortably and listened to the sounds of his slow deep breathing and the rhythmic beat of his heart coming down from its ecstatic high.

"I think we're getting better." Gourry said sleepily.

"Well you know what they say, practice makes perfect."

"Why practice when we can actually do it?"

"It doesn't literally…you know what, forget it." Lina laughed and snuggled into him again and had a little thought. "You know, you've not had any episodes for awhile."

"No I haven't."

"You think that means you've got over it, so we don't have to go back there."

"I don't think I'm over it. I think I'm just preparing myself for when we get to that place. Like my mind is putting it on hold until its ready."

"Oh I see…"

Gourry could hear the little downhearted tone in Lina's voice. He couldn't mistake it.

"What's wrong Lina?"

"Nothing."

"You would be a good liar if you didn't give it away so easily with the way you speak."

"What do you mean?"

"I can just tell with the tone. No wait. You're trying to change the subject. What's the matter?"

"Its…just. Going back is going to be pretty tough for me too. Maybe I've not had such traumatic memories as you, but I think they're pretty bad for me. We tried to kill you. We didn't know who you were. We all thought that Phibrizzo was using some minion and he was using your sword. I didn't know what to say when we found out it was you. I think I was more concerned about getting you back then to comprehend what we were doing."

"We both did things that we didn't really mean. I think you have just as much reason to come with me as I do. Instead of dealing with it, we've both run away from our past. Now it's time to confront it so we can really move on."

Lina just lay there for a moment and Gourry started to wonder if he said something wrong.

"You know, there are times when you come up with stuff that I don't think a stupid person is capable of. Then there are times when you make me wonder if I really am the smart one or you're just secretly pulling the strings in the background."

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gourry grinned.

"You've been listening to Xellos WAY too much."

"If I was listening to Xellos too much, I would say 'That is a secret'."

Lina shivered suddenly at those particular words and tensed up.

"Don't say that Gourry. Every time that fruitcake says that, I wanna rip out his throat."

"Umm…ok." He sweat dropped in reply.

"I'm not gonna rip your throat out, stupid!"

"Good, just as long as we're clear."

Gourry's hands slowly drifted down Lina's stomach and his fingers traced little circles around her belly button. Lina instantly reacted by squirming into him.

"Gyaah! Don't Gourry that tickles!"

"Haha! I've found Lina Inverse's weak spot!" The swordsman grinned as he continued on.

"No!" She squealed and struggled to pull away. "I swear I'll fireball you!"

"How can you fireball me if you're too busy squealing and laughing?"

Lina squirmed and suddenly found enough room to flip around and grab Gourry's hands before he could tickle her anymore. Soon she was straddling him and smirked at him as he began blushing.

"Up for another round, eh?" Lina grinned.

"You don't need me to tell you." He replied as the blushing quickly disappeared when Lina started to move her hips slowly.

"Well this time, I'm staying on top." Lina smiled as she lowered down and claimed the swordsman's neck with her lips.

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A few days later, Lina and Gourry were heading on a road which would lead to the clearing which had painful memories for the pair. Lina's stomach was twisting and turning, and the way she was feeling now was the same as she felt back then. Dread.

Soon the road opened up into a large clearing and immediately Lina stopped. Gourry took a few steps before stopping to turn around and see what was up.

"This is the place, Gourry." Lina spoke quietly.

Gourry turned back to take a look once more and then slowly nodded.

"You're right." He replied with a tight voice.

The swordsman walked off ahead and began to look around, the memories he had fought off were starting to return but he was managing them better. Now he was welcoming them and was thankful that he was keeping calm. He looked around him as he walked and was able to visualise what happened where. He could see the spots where long lost friends lay dead. He knelt down and placed his hand on those spots as though offering a proper goodbye before moving on.

Lina just watched from where she initially stopped, hoping that maybe once Gourry was done, they could just move on and get things back to normal. However she reminded herself of Gourry's words and realised she couldn't do that, so she moved forward and started to remember the fight she had with Gourry. She never would have fought the way she had if she knew the man she was fighting was Gourry. She would have held back, much too scared of harming him. Instead she threw everything she had at him and it was barely enough until the Ragna Blade.

Gourry continued on, stopping off at each point until he found the spot where he lay unconscious. He knelt down and noticed a few fragments of something. It seemed to be some sort of mask which had shattered. He picked some of the fragments up and looked at them closely.

Lina looked up to Gourry and noticed him suddenly twitching.

"Gourry? Gourry!? What's wrong!?" Lina yelled after him, quickly running over to where he was kneeling.

Painful memories suddenly invaded Gourry's mind and suddenly the fragments began to fuse together, forming an object that he feared. He stood up wanting to get away from it, but the moment the mask formed, it covered his face and then the memories came together. This was the mask he wore when he fought Lina.

Lina watched as the swordsman suddenly stood up. She was filled with concern, not sure if he was about to have an episode or tell her he was ready to move on. Slowly he turned around and Lina could see it in his eyes. He wasn't Gourry anymore. The last time she saw those eyes was when the mask shattered from his face. They were filled with hate towards her.

"No, Gourry…"

Within moments, Gourry had dropped his shoulder and drove it into Lina's chest. The momentum flung her backwards and she hit the ground hard, gasping harshly for air. She knew she didn't have the time for it and so forced herself back to her feet just in time for Gourry to swing his blade at her, barely missing her as the sword kicked up dust around the spot where she just lay.

It gave her the time to say the words she needed and with a gust of wind she darted her body away from him. She had to get room between herself and Gourry otherwise she would have no chance in this battle. Only she didn't want a battle. A battle meant two people fought each other and she certainly wasn't going to fight him.

"Gourry! Snap out of it!" She screamed in desperation.

The words passed through him as though he was a ghost and with lightning fast speed he quickly covered the ground between himself and Lina. Once the gap was closed, he swung his sword forcefully. Lina barely evaded the attack, ducking below the powerful sword swipe. Thinking she avoided the attack, she was about to back off only to find a boot drive into her gut and force her down to the ground.

The sword slash was a diversion away from his real intentions and she fell for it. She looked up to the merciless looking swordsman as he prepared to slash downwards. Lina cursed and drove her knee up and smashing it into the back of Gourry's knee. It threw him off balance and gave her the vital time to get away and increase the distance once more.

Gourry was slow to return to his feet and Lina thought desperately to find a way to end this. She thought of using a sleeping spell but she knew she couldn't get close enough with enough time to cast it without Gourry at least knocking her away if not easily finish her off. She didn't dare use any offensive attacks in fear of harming him. The only other option she had was to try and run away.

In the time she thought about her options, Gourry had recovered and was quickly closing her down. With not enough time to move out the way, Lina unsheathed her short sword and held it up to block the blow at the last moment. The shock sent shudders through her entire body and she almost dropped the blade. Gourry on the other hand seemed almost unfazed and was ready to deliver another blow.

She managed to shake it off and hold the blade up to block the oncoming attack, but with even less time, the jolt from the blow took her off her feet and the blade of her short sword to crack in several places. She gritted her teeth and threw the useless blade to the ground and rolled to the side to avoid yet another attack from Gourry.

Finding her distance yet again she gasped for breath and sighed in frustration. Screw running away. That was not how Lina Inverse did things. She realised that if it wasn't for fighting Gourry, she would never have survived that encounter and she was proving that now since she would last long without fighting back. She had to stop him some how and when she thought about it carefully, she knew this was what Gourry wanted. This was for his sake in the end.

Biting her lip she formed a flaming arrow in her hands after using the chaos words. She fired it towards him before he got close again. She watched it close in on target until Gourry simply swiped out at it with his sword. There was a slight flash within the simple blade and the arrow dissipated harmlessly.

"How?" Lina asked in shock.

How was he able to do that with just a simple sword? He no longer had the Sword of Light and they were still on the look out for a magical sword. How was he able to fend off her magic like that? She searched her mind for the answer as she flung a fireball towards him, just at his feet and then cast a quick Diem Wing to distance herself. Gourry evaded the explosion with ease but he had to move laterally where as she could increase the distance between them.

"Willpower?" She asked herself.

Luna had taught her father to focus will power into an object held in his hand. Maybe Gourry was doing a similar thing? When he had the Sword of Light, he was capable of absorbing magic attacks and then fire them back, and also he could extend the blade. He was essentially able to make it more powerful. That was Gourry's true potential with the Sword of Light. Maybe he was now tapped into that potential and using it with just a normal blade. If so, then Gourry was just as powerful with a normal blade as he could be with the Sword of Light.

Lina bit her lip as she realised her options were quickly disappearing. She wasn't alone last time and so her friends were able to deflect some of the attention, but now it was just her and him. At least he didn't have the Sword of Light or she would have been seriously confused, but with the way he was now, things still didn't look great.

After the dust had settled from the fireball, Gourry used his pace to close in on Lina. She quickly cast a Levitation spell to push herself high in the air and then threw several flare arrows down at him, thinking he couldn't dodge them all. However, Gourry looked up to the onslaught of arrows and then quickly starting swiping away at them with his sword. Lina watched in shock as he fended off every single arrow which could potentially hit him and avoided all of those which were going to miss.

Once the arrows had stopped, Gourry looked up and with a powerful spring leapt into the air. Lina was unsuspecting of how high he could truly leap and so was surprised to see him reach her height. He swung his blade rapidly towards her, with cold eyes staring her down. Lina twisted her body as she realised she wouldn't be able to move away. Only she wasn't fast enough and found the blade cutting through the shoulder of her tunic and cutting a decent gash in her arm. She yelped in pain and lost control of the Levitation spell and was sent spiralling to the ground.

She hit the floor with a thud which dazed her. She lay there confused and so by the time she recovered it was too late. Gourry was stood over her and ready to deliver the final blow. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and waited for the end to come. Only it never came. So she was surprised to open her eyes and see the swordsman with the sword at his chest, ready to impale himself.

During the entire fight, Gourry found himself a passenger of his own body much like he was when he was under the control of Phibrizzo. Only this time he wasn't under Phibrizzo's control. He thought back to the conversations with Adalric and realised he that he was in control. This wasn't like last time. He was in control of the situation but he wasn't sure how much control he had. He remembered last time that he momentarily gained control but then soon lost it and was about to deliver the final blow if it wasn't for Zangulus.

This time he knew that once he got the opportunity, he wouldn't let it slip like he did last time. This time he was going to face up to his fears. This was for Lina and he was going to protect her. Even if it meant he had to protect her from himself. He was at peace with his past and was ready. He found himself taking control of his own body and without a moment's hesitation turned the sword on himself.

"NOOOO!!!" Lina screamed. Without hesitation she threw her hands up and forced the words through a tight throat. "Diem Wing!"

A mighty gust of wind was blown towards the swordsman which became too much for him. His concentration was focused solely on driving the sword through himself that he wasn't able to defend the powerful wind. He lost his grip on the sword and was forced backwards into the ground.

Lina found her feet and ran towards the swordsman. Just as he started getting to his feet and reaching for the sword, she flung her body and tackled him into the ground. She knocked the air out of his lungs which forced him to groan in pain.

"Don't do it you stupid idiot!" Lina yelled with tears in her eyes, her fists driving down onto his chest. "Don't you dare take your own life! Don't you dare run away from this!"

The sorceress found herself sobbing and soon couldn't pound her fists onto his chest. She just collapsed into his chest and continued sobbing.

Gourry lay there looking at Lina with shock, surprised to see her expressing so much emotion like that. He realised that he had truly got over his problems them moment he placed the sword to his chest. It seemed that once he finally accepted everything for what it was instead of pushing it away and trying to forget about it, he was able to overcome his problems.

Those things that happened in the past were bad, but they were in the past and there was nothing he could do about it anymore. Instead of trying to forget about them, he realised that he had to just accept what happened. He tried to kill Lina, but he wasn't in control. It wasn't his fault and he tried his best. Things turned out for the best and so he should just accept it.

He wrapped his arms around Lina slowly and sat up slowly, keeping her close to his chest. Lina continued to sob into his chest, her hands still curled up into fists against him. His hands stroked her hair slowly as he tried to calm her down.

"I'm ok Lina. I think I'm ok. It's over now." He said calmly.

Pulling away, Lina sniffled and looked up at him. She looked into his eyes and smiled. "You're back."

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Lina and Gourry walked on from the clearing a few hours later.

"There's something still bothering me a little." Gourry stated as they walked along the quiet road.

"What's wrong?" Lina replied with a little concern.

"When I was under Phibrizzo's control, I was able to get control for a moment and then lost it. I'm still frustrated that I wasn't able to stop myself the second time I was about to attack you."

"I think that's because you didn't need to."

"What do you mean?"

"You knew Zangulus was there, didn't you?"

"I…I don't remember."

"You do Gourry, just think about it carefully. You weren't in control, but you could feel another presence nearby. You're an incredible swordsman; you're in tune with that kind of stuff."

Gourry thought back to the time he was taken under control, now no longer fearing the thoughts. He carefully remembered his feelings when he just about lost control of himself after stopping himself from delivering the final blow to Lina. Momentarily he felt that other presence. His instinct told him it was Zangulus and that he was nearby.

"I knew Zangulus would rescue you. I just needed to give him enough time to do it."

Lina nodded in reply.

"So where to now, Lina?" Gourry asked.

"Same as usual, wherever there is good food or bandits that need to be taught a lesson or two."

"I like the sound of that."

"Good. You wouldn't have had a choice anyway!"


End file.
